“Don’t push me away. You want this as much as I do.”

“The kids,” she countered in a hushed tone with a glance over her shoulder toward the long hallway.

“You said yourself it’d take a stampede of elephants to wake them.”

“I’m not ready.”

“You feel ready to me.” I ran my hand over her crotch.

She sucked in a deep breath and gazed up at me with glazed eyes. She was unable to resist me. I saw the lust peppered with resignation in her eyes, as if she’d given up fighting me.

Resignation?

That wasn’t what I wanted from her. Right then, I knew the time wasn’t right. I couldn’t do this, not under these circumstances, and I hated myself for being so noble.

I scooted away and rose to my feet.

Chapter Eighteen

Not Rushing

~~Caroline~~

I blinked several times, attempting to get my bearings. One second, Easton and I were on the verge of fucking each other’s brains out; the next, he stood away from me, hands in his pockets, while his impressive erection pushed against the fly of his pants.

Stunned by what just happened and trying to make sense of his actions, I stared dumbly at his crotch for a long time before dragging my gaze up his body to his face.

“Easton?”

“I can’t do this.” He was in agony yet determined.

“What?” I stared at him incredulously, not making sense of his words.

“It’s the look on your face.”

“What look?”

“I saw the look on your face, like you were resigned to your fate. I don’t want sex with you to be like that. Either we’re both looking forward to fucking with zero regrets or we aren’t doing it. I don’t want to hurt you or be hurt by you. I don’t want resignation. I want what we used to have—fire, passion, absolute commitment to each other’s pleasure.”

“I’m confused.” Easton just turned me down, and I was shocked.

“You’re the mother of my children. I can’t walk away and never see you again. We’re forever bound together by the twins. Therefore, we need an amicable relationship. If sex causes you regrets, we can’t do it. We have to be on the same page and want this for the same reasons.”

“And those reasons are?”

“Short term, sexual gratification and fun. Long term, I haven’t a fucking clue.”

At least he was honest.

“We’re on the same page,” I said quietly.

“I don’t think so.”

I considered protesting but didn’t and nodded slowly. “I understand.”

“I’m leaving it up to you. I want you, Caro, so badly I haven’t looked at another woman since you came back in my life, but any relationship beyond friends causes complications. Are you willing to live with those complications? I know we have to think of the kids. You plan everything. Maybe you need to figure out if sex with me fits in your plan.”

He was right, and there wasn’t any arguing with his logic.