I’d stalked him online. The sports bloggers and online websites touted him as one of the most talented rookies of the season. I easily saw why. He stood out. He made plays. He was dependable and steady, yet unpredictable and dangerous to the opposing team.

My kids were enamored of him, and I was conflicted. I didn’t want to like him, yet I did. I didn’t want to be attracted to him, yet I was. I didn’t want to love him, yet it might be too late.

~~Easton~~

Having my children and the mother of those children watch me playing hockey had a profound effect on me. I hadn’t realized how emotional I’d be until I saw those kids’ faces pressed against the glass as they shouted at me to get my attention.

I choked up, my eyes burned with unshed tears, and I fought to hold these emotions overwhelming me in check. They looked great in my jerseys, and several teammates approached me at the intermission to shake my hand and congratulate me on being a father. Better late than never, but as soon as it could be given the circumstances.

The word sped through the team faster than a puck sped to the net. Once a few of my buddies knew, all the coaches and staff knew. Cousin Coop wanted to meet everyone, and I promised we’d arrange that soon and begged him not to tell my family. I wanted to tell them in person.

Then there was Caro. One look at her in my hockey jersey, and I wanted to stamp my name all over her. Jealousy clawed my insides knowing she and my kids had someone else’s last name. I planned on rectifying the twins’ last name as soon as they knew about me. As far as Caro was concerned, the only way to change her name would be to marry her.

Marriage was something I’d always imagined I’d do far into the future when I found the right woman. Caro might be the woman I wanted to fuck, but I didn’t know where we’d end up beyond that, and I didn’t want to think about such things.

Better to focus on today. Enjoy my twenties. Party while I could. Be the best dad when I could. And stay away from long-term relationships with any woman. I was too young to know what I wanted out of life, including the woman I wanted. In my opinion, I’d only get one chance to do this right. When I married, I’d marry for life. I suppose everyone thought they would, but I was determined to make my marriage last, just as I’d been determined to be a professional hockey player. Failure wasn’t an option.

After the game, Caro took the kids home. Junie and I went to the after-game party, but my heart wasn’t in it. When Kaden offered to give Junie a ride home later, I had zero reason to stick around.

Instead of going to my condo, I stopped at a grocery store and made a purchase. Once home, I hesitated at my door, crossed the hall, and listened at Caro’s door like some kind of sick stalker. When I heard the television, I knocked lightly. I wiped my palms on my dress pants and ran my fingers through my hair. Plastering a pleasant smile on my face, I waited.