We sat there in silence, listening to Christmas music and watching the flames dance in the fireplace.

Chapter Twenty-Four

A Big Step

~~Caroline~~

I woke much later. At first, I was disoriented, but my foggy brain finally registered where I was. Easton was carrying me to the bedroom. He nudged the door shut with his heel and placed me on the bed. I lay there, looking up at him, as I fully awoke. I’d had dreams, dreams of Easton and me together. In one dream, Mark pounded on the door of our happy home and demanded I come back to him. He wasn’t really dead, and I was still married to him. That one shook me up more than I cared to admit.

Easton sat on the edge of the bed. “What’s wrong, Caro? I saw something in your eyes. What is it?”

“Just a disturbing dream.”

“Tell me about it. You can tell me anything.”

Déjà vu washed over me. He’d said those words to me years ago, and I’d spilled the truth about my horrible homelife and unloving parents. I’d been certain then I hadn’t been worthy of love, that something had to be wrong with me, not them. Even now, I still suffered from the residual effects of feeling unloved and unworthy. Trust had always been an issue with me. Loving Mark had been safe because our love wasn’t the soul-deep kind of love that would rip your heart out and leave you irreparably scarred and broken if it ever ended.

“Caro, I’m here for you. I won’t walk away again. I promise.”

“I’m trying.” I wanted to believe him, but my life had been about the people I loved the most leaving me. Getting beyond that kind of programming wouldn’t be easy.

He lay down next to me, fully clothed, and held me in his arms. He didn’t try anything, just held me. “You don’t have to be strong all the time. I have broad shoulders. I can carry some of the load too.”

His words rang true, but I wasn’t that easy to win over. I held back a part of me, a part I’d once given to him and only him. He’d stomped the life out of me and left me alone and, unknown to us, pregnant. Trust would take time.

“So can I stay?” He rolled onto his side and propped his head on his hand.

I wanted him to stay, but I was compelled to resist out of pure habit. “The kids might hear us.”

“These walls are pretty soundproof,” he assured me. “And the doors are solid wood.”

“And you know this how?”

He gave me one of those looks. “Seriously? You’re asking me this? Look who I’m rooming with.”

“Steele, who keeps to himself and doesn’t bring women home, and Kaden, who has a secret lover no one knows anything about.”

“You do have a point. As long as you tamp down your screaming, we should be fine.”

“My screaming?”