SALAZAR: The JWs predicted the End in 1914. The end of the world. The Second Coming of Jesus. 1914. Well. 1914 came and went. Where was Jesus?

CASS: Uh. I don’t know.

SALAZAR: Exactly! Dooteronomy eighteen twenty-one twenty-two. Thou shalt not be afraid of the JWs.

CASS: Well. You’ve got them folks coming and going.

SALAZAR: We know ’em up and down, that’s right.

CASS: That’s right. And back and forth.

SALAZAR: That’s right.

CASS: You might as well be one.

SALAZAR: Formerly I was.

CASS: You?

SALAZAR: I was. A lot of us. Yes. Formerly.

CASS: But you bailed.

SALAZAR: We all did. All the Children of Jehovah. Because the Witnesses are completely polluted. The Witnesses don’t acknowledge the divinity of Christ. Did you know that?…Do you know what divinity is?

CASS: Like the scene with the animals and the manger. With the frankincense and myrrh—those people.

SALAZAR: Oh! thou generation of vipers!

CASS: I know what a viper is, it’s a snake, and I’m proud to be one. And I know what divinity… Just don’t go quizzing me on frankincense and myrrh…

SALAZAR: That’s the nativity—the birth of Jesus. Divinity means he’s God, he’s divine. Jesus walked on the water. He quelled the stormy seas, he turned water into wine. He spit in a blind man’s eyes and that man did see and shout. He rolled away the stone on his own grave and descended into Hell and freed the captive spirits. And still the JWs don’t believe he’s God!

CASS: But you guys do.

SALAZAR: Well. No. We don’t. But for completely different reasons.

CASS: Oh yeah.

SALAZAR: Yeah. They get it from the Book of Revelation. We get it from the Dead Sea Scrolls.

CASS: So a gang of them Jehovah Witnesses broke off—

SALAZAR: A large gang—a group, a very large group—

CASS: You broke away, you formed your own branch—

SALAZAR: We’re not a branch. If they’re a tree, then we’re a tree. We’ve got our own roots, our own soil—

CASS: Hey. (Pause.) Wow. I’m not gonna dialogue religion with a—! People accuse me to be a speed-mouth little jazzbo…

SALAZAR: We’re not in any way affiliated and our movement is self-sustaining, is all I’m…It comes from God…

CASS: So you left the outfit; you guys and gals, the Children of Jehovah; you fixed yourselves up in a church someplace and bought a vehicle and painted your name on the side and drove to my door, and here we are. And here is my question: I’d like you to state your purpose today.

SALAZAR: That I came to your door.

CASS: And made threats.

SALAZAR: Those were only for-instances.

CASS: Like wiping out my whole town, for instance.

SALAZAR: You were saying things too. We were riffing. We were joshing.

CASS: We were jiving. What do you people want?

SALAZAR: (pointing the gun): We want our effing drugs back, mate.

Pause.

CASS: Your drugs.

SALAZAR: That’s right.

CASS: Your drugs!

SALAZAR: Yes indeed.