‘Darling Serena,’ I call out, getting up from the vast four-poster bed and going to examine the family photographs on the mantelpiece opposite. There is a very sweet one of Cath sitting on this bed, in a broderie anglaise nightie, clearly having given birth to her fourth baby, Florian, while all the other children cluster round her with shining faces in their crunchy pale blue PJs, or matching white nightie, in the case of Serena. Cath looks awfully good given she’s just delivered, and her hair is in a shining up-do. It is rather annoying. I still looked like the Wreck of the Deutschland six months after having Ceci.

‘You mustn’t worry too much, I promise! I had bleeding with Ceci. It’s really common, darling. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything. I know it’s scary. But after the party we’ll run you into Godminster, they’ll scan you, and I’m sure you’ll be fine.’ Poor Serena’s bleeding started before the service, she told me. That’s why she was late arriving at church, and why she gave us all panic attacks that she wasn’t going to show up, and we all thought Colin was going to be stood up at the altar. But she did show, bless her. It was light bleeding then. But now, the bleeding is heavier. And she has cramps.

I hate to think of her, in there, on her own, in her white wedding dress. She hasn’t told Colin, or her mother, because she doesn’t want to spoil the reception after all Cath’s work and all Serena’s demands re: doves, Raj tents, ogee arches, Royal attendees and all that. The whole thing is just so painful.

Then something awful happens. The door pushes open, there’s not even a knock, and Lulu and Celia barge into Cath’s bedroom. I feel like a lioness defending my cub. ‘What do you want?’ I say to Lulu. ‘Hello, Mrs Bryanston,’ I say more politely. ‘There’s another bathroom down the corridor.’

Serena comes out, looking drawn and composed, white enough under her make-up to audition as the corpse bride. ‘I think I’m going to go down,’ she says to me, before spotting Lulu and Celia. She nods and says hello but passes the pair to rejoin her guests.

‘What’s wrong with Serena?’ Lulu asks.