I take an order of service from the usher and sit a couple of rows in front of Mimi, Ralph, Mirabel, Cas and Posy, who take up a whole rickety pew. The Cobb family fills up the left-hand side of the church and much of the right-hand side of the church, too, as Colin Watts and family could fill only a couple of pews, vastly outnumbered by the opposition.

On his team are the butcher from Godminster, with veiny cheeks, a man who has grown in stature since several local abattoirs closed and the only one left is owned by him (you now have to book pigs in at least six weeks in advance). There are the cousins who run the Horse Supplies, the couple at the garage, various aunties and uncles, all done up in their best like Tom Kitten before the fine company arrives, slightly bursting out of their finery.

The Watts contingent is dressed in rented morning suits or sensible twinsets from that shop in Godminster that does separates and wedding outfits, and low heels, whereas the rest are dressed to the nines. The church is a vision of English lovelies at their best, the girls and women in teetering heels, edgy couture and bonkers millinery. The women on the Cobb side break up the morning suits on the dark wooden pews with splashes of colour and feathery fascinators, like iced gems in fruity colours scattered on a chocolate cake.

Lulu is looking quite spectacular, next to Celia, in her Véronique Branquinho dress. Ned is in his great-grandfather’s tails, on the other side of Celia. Mimi is wearing a skirt from Whistles, which she has revved up with some secret new shoes from Net-à-Porter.com (she told me she now bribes the postman only to deliver when Ralph’s car isn’t outside Home Farm) and a little shrug edged in velvet. I’m wearing the peasanty floral dress – red paisley on white background – from Gucci, with big shades pushed up, and high-heeled strappy sandals, all of which combine to make my legs look lean and brown. Ceci, who I have on a very tight leash since Spike was packed off to boarding school (fees paid for, needless to say, by Granville and the newly minted Pierre), is in Top Shop, as is Mirabel.