But I do clue Mimi in about the Bryanstons and Godminster Hall, just to give her the headlines, because she asks who the ‘village rock star’ is and describes Jesse Marlon to a tee, having spotted him in Horse Supplies a couple of days ago.

‘Tall, with dark hair, jeans,’ she asks. ‘Er, T-shirt with aggressive slogan?’

So I rather formally explain that the raven-haired youth in jeans and Every Little Hurts Fuck Tesco T-shirt is without any doubt Jesse Marlon, Ned Bryanston’s oldest son and heir by his starter marriage to Jude, a poet. I feel my stomach do a little flip when I say his name, which is how I know.

I have started on that road again.

‘She could afford to be a poet,’ I explain, thinking, Oh Lord, here we go. ‘Not because Ned is loaded, though. He did come into some capital, but inherited wealth doesn’t get you very far, these days. No, Jude’s father made a fortune in something’ – I pause, trying to remember – ‘Spackle. It’s like Polyfilla, I think’.

Then I give her the bare bones of the Bryanston backstory. It’s only fair, as Mimi is new to the village.

‘Anyway, the marriage broke down shortly after Jesse Marlon was born, when Big Ned ran off with, among several others, Lulu Fitch, now Bryanston, a model-actress-whatever with whom he has the twins, Little Ned and Fred. And Judith, I mean Jude, disappeared back to the East Coast, where she now runs an exclusive writers’ retreat in the Catskills with her new partner, Kit, and they have a child.’

‘So Lulu toppled Jude, and now Jude lives in America, and Lulu and Ned are married, and produced twins. Does she ever come over, and see Jesse Marlon with him, with, erm, Kit, I mean?’ Mimi asks.

‘With her,’ I say. ‘She does indeed. She came over with Kit one summer, to see her son – we were all agog. Turned out that her partner, Kit, was a lesbian, as is Jude, and their child, called Jeremy, was a golden-haired Rapunzel. A girl. Anyway, Ned’s father, Gerard, died about five years ago, and Ned and Lulu moved from the cottage ornée into the big house –’

‘The cottage what?’ Mimi asks, slightly imitating my French pronunciation.

‘Ornée,’ I say. ‘And anyway, Ned’s mother, Celia, has been living with them ever since, which only partly explains, we think, why Lulu is always in such a vile mood.

‘Celia is rather marvellous in a Lady Bracknell way, but Lulu calls her “the monster” behind her back, which isn’t surprising, I suppose.

‘Lulu complains that living with Celia is worse than a State Visit from the Queen, because at least the Royals are trained to make an effort. Celia has capably swatted away all attempts to park her in the Gatehouse, or the Ciderhouse or a cottage, with the promise that “she will never live in some Dower House,” and that if they want her to leave Godminster Hall, against her will and against Gerard’s express wishes, it will be “feet first”.’