He would go and visit her. Stay. And Frederick. Fred. He might stay for ages. He could grow up there. He could learn to watch the world as she did. Fred would take off his uniform when he came home and you could forget what he was. He would be a man, like any other man. They would be careful of each other, and gentle, and laugh. He saw the ring, that she touched from time to time, on her finger. Remembered the way she touched it. I would like to be loved, he thought. Safely loved. To write words down on a page, pattern them not even write them down, hear the song of them in your head, hear nothing else for those few minutes, that was safe too. He might stay for ever. He might buy a typewriter. Those neat black letters looked so good. Some day. Maybe they would live in Germany. He tried to remember what he knew about Germany. Pine trees and deep snow in the winter, keeping the world silent. She would have children of her own. She wouldn’t want him hanging around. He could help, push them in their pram. Teach them games like conkers and hopscotch and making shadows on the wall with your hands. Our Father who art in heaven, please … Hallowed … hallow was a lovely word … Hallowed be Thy …’

‘Are you deaf?’

‘What?’

His tea was on the table in front of him and his mother was sitting once more in her chair with the sock in her hand. She was staring at him.

‘Sorry,’ he said. He didn’t quite know why.

‘Drink your tea while it’s hot.’

‘Yes.’

‘I sometimes think you’re a little wanting.’

‘Ah, Mam …’

‘Three times I ask you a question and you just sit there like a gaum.’

‘I was thinking.’

His father seemed to have gone asleep. His head was right down on his chest, his eyes were shut. He too was ignoring the tea that steamed in front of him.

‘What did you ask me? I’m sorry.’

‘About the girl …’

‘I know nothing about a girl, Mam. I only said it off the top of my head. Something to say. You took me up. That’s all. You took me up.’

‘Aye’ breathed the old man across the table. ‘You took him up.’

‘Drink your tea.’ Squinting up towards the light she threaded her needle and continued with her darning.