He sounded as if he were trying out the words for the first time.

‘Oh.’

‘You don’t sound surprised.’

‘What’ll you do?’

He went over to the bed and looked down at his brother. It always seemed strange to him that people who had been asleep always smelt differently to those who had been up and walking round a while.

‘Do for money, I mean.’

‘Money.’ Brendan laughed.

‘Mam …’

‘Don’t you say a word to her. Do you hear? I’ll tell her in my own way. In my own time … and him.’

‘Why?’

‘I hadn’t worked it out … you know, to the end. I can’t explain … it’s not even very clear to me, I always saw myself carrying on where he left off …’

‘He? You mean Dad?’

‘Yes. Yes. It was all like some sort of dream. Then when they gave me a gun … I was not the right person any more. I’ve gone ahead with it … only now … It was the gun finished me off. I wouldn’t be any use to them … to anyone really … I feel wrecked. Jesus.’

‘What’ll you do?’

‘Get out. Go back. I hate that … but … Get a job. Keep my mouth shut.’

‘Kathleen …’

‘Yes?’

‘That’s a great girl. A girl …’

The bed in the next room creaked under the movement of their father. The boys listened in silence for a moment.

‘I told her everything.’ Brendan whispered so softly that Joe had to lean forward to catch his words. She didn’t want to know, a voice was crying in his head.

‘She … she’s … kind …’

‘What did you tell her?’

‘Never you mind, kiddo, what I told her. She listened. I’ve never met a girl like her before.’

Brendan smiled to himself.

‘I’m just telling you because you were great, and I wouldn’t want to go without saying anything. She said …’

‘Go?’

‘Aye. I’ll go maybe today. She’s lending me a few pounds till I get started.’

‘Oh.’

‘I don’t want any fuss … so don’t …’

‘No.’

‘She’ll be over at the end of July. We’ll maybe … I’d like … You never know what might happen … I’ll get a decent job.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘Don’t be thick. We might get married.’

Joe heard his own voice coming out, cold and ugly.

‘She’s going to be married to someone else.’

Brendan laughed.

‘Where did you get that bit of news?’

‘She told me so herself. She doesn’t tell you everything, so she doesn’t.’

‘You’re a bit gone on her yourself?

‘I am not gone on her, but I can tell you something … she’s not gone on you. She thinks you’re weak. She told me so. She’s going to be married to someone anyway. She loves him. She doesn’t talk to you. She didn’t even want to listen to you. She told me that too.’

Brendan threw back the clothes and put his feet down on the floor.