Seeing you with him makes me want to SCREAM.

I shouldn’t know

Just how happy you are now

Without me.

I hate a pity party,

And yet I’m so damn good at throwing them.

Is it possible to trick oneself into believing that fate is on our side

When you keep making every attempt to tell me that it’s not?

Building a future with Popsicle sticks

And you have an affinity for matches.

But maybe it’s all in my head.

After all I’m just as crazy as you,

Which is why I can read your mind.

Effortless.

So perhaps we weren’t meant for this lifetime.

It’s hard to accept when you believe there are no more.

I know better.

I have faith and I will wait.

Patience is a virtue I’m learning.

I want to make sure it’s a course I should be enrolled in.

Can’t you see I’m ready to end everything to be your anything?

Pathetic. Maybe. Or maybe that’s love.

I can’t put my finger on why it is that I love you

Because there are too many words to hold.

They spill out of my fist and onto the floor

Your voice. Obviously, did I even have to say it?

Your eyes. Your lips.

The adorable way you walk

On the balls of your feet.

Your innocence.

The sex kitten that you try to disguise.

The accent that slips past your lips on certain words.

I want to give you the world,

But I have holes in my jeans.

I hope you’ll forgive them.

Life was easier before I knew you existed.

At least it was clearer.

Now I see your face in every raindrop.

Hear your voice in every song.

And it’s killing me.

This is my obsession.

And I’m tired of being possessed

By someone I can’t hold.

Letting go.

I must release.

Cut the line

Because you’re a whale and

Will capsize my boat.

I wasn’t meant to drown in you.

After all you’re only a boy,

I’m told the ocean is filled with others.

Good-bye my love,

Good-bye.

Another lifetime

Another existence

Another rock hurtling through space.

29

Tell me a bedtime story, he says,

Though he’s a thousand miles away.

It may as well be a million.

He’s naked, he tells me.

And ordinarily I’d be turned on

But not tonight.

I can’t.

At this point he’s playing me

And I have no interest in the game.

He knows I’m in love with him,

That it hurts me that he’s with someone else.

And yet he calls.…

Says, “I don’t know if I really love him.”

Yanks my chain.

Again and again.

It rattles around my neck.

Just when I’ve wandered

Nearly far enough to forget him,

He calls.

Naked.

And wants a bedtime story.

But I want so much more.