She began to walk, no destination in mind, only the impulsive need to move. It was when she was still that the memories came back, creeping up on her from all sides. The problem, aside from having them in the first place, was that these pictures flashed in her mind as confusing slivers of information. They did not make up a whole, but even as individual pieces had enough power to make her stomach turn. The question was why now? Why, when she had just turned sixteen, did these remembrances begin to stalk her? She couldn’t claim them as her own. The burden was too great.

Lucretia walked into a café in a daze, hearing the bell over the door ring as she entered, as an afterthought. She made a beeline around customers who took no notice and went straight to a washroom.

Lucretia slid the lock in place and turned to face herself in the mirror. Her hair was a wet, stringy mess from the rain and the tank top hugged her like a second skin. Her nipples stood out like little sentinels on guard. Untying the sweatshirt from around her waist, she turned on the taps and washed the sleeves in the sink. She laid the sweatshirt over the hand dryer and turned round to examine her pants in the mirror. They were beyond any immediate repair. She took them off and removed her panties, washing them in the sink as well. She watched coldly as the pinkish water swirled down the drain. She wrung them out and hit the dryer button with her elbow, watching as the blowing air filled the underwear, giving it shape. It took five cycles of the dryer before they were suitable again to wear. She redressed and slipped back into the café.

Finding a corner stool, Lucretia sat holding the warm paper cup of coffee between her hands, her eyes following the arteries of rainwater rush over the café’s windows. Outside, people huddled in dark overcoats beneath umbrellas of black and gray.

Last night had been a mistake. She had gone on a mission to test herself. It started by skimming an inch off the top of her parents’ liquor bottles in an unskilled alchemist’s brew designed to give her courage. She knew she was different, always had been. A girl who liked girls and who chose to dress in the uniform of guys her age. It was the perfect camouflage to help keep her… invisible.

Her plan had been simple. Go to a club, find a guy, and sleep with him. Find out once and for all if all the nonsense in her head about girls meant anything.