I kept my own counsel on him. There was a lot to contend with in the aftermath of Pagiel’s death, giving me little time to talk to Dorian. I watched him a lot and found that I missed the time we’d had together. I hadn’t forgotten that he’d stood with me in the end. He’d proven himself time and time again. Now it was up to me.

Still, the timing proved difficult. We were both always so busy. The most I was able to talk to him was the day I left for Tucson, and even that was short-lived.

“I have to go back for a while,” I told him. “I don’t know how long. There are a lot of loose ends to tie up.”

Dorian nodded. “I understand.”

I glanced away. “I wanted to say ... well, thank you. Thank you for everything, for standing by me. I never should have doubted you. And I know there’s still a lot to figure out—”

He cupped my face, forcing me to look at him. “Eugenie, Eugenie. I told you before. There’s nothing for me to figure out. I know what I want. I want you. Not just as a bedmate or war ally. I want you with me, always. I want to share the same jokes and look into your eyes when I wake up. I think someday—hopefully sooner rather than later—you’ll want this too. Until then, I’ll be here, waiting for you.”

He gave me a light kiss, and that was our good-bye. It left me breathless and continued to haunt me as I returned to Tucson. Even so, I still had plenty of other things to distract me. Mom and Roland and I were making plans about bringing the twins to Tucson, something that filled me with eagerness. I was anxious to see them and had little patience for all the things that needed to be done first.

Not all of my loose ends were unpleasant, though. Although I was sure Candace and Charles would happily give us all the baby gear they’d acquired, my mom and I still spent a lot of time stocking up on our own. Those moments were some of the most peaceful I’d had, and I would spend ages in stores touching and examining baby clothes, wondering how big Ivy and Isaac had grown.

I was at an outdoor mall one day with my mom, scoping out cribs. They’d all looked fine to me, but she’d gotten into a lengthy discussion with the salesperson, grilling him on every safety detail. I’d begged out to grab a cup of coffee, promising to return soon. I don’t think either noticed I had left. I found a coffee shop on the other side of the shopping center and had just received my latte when a familiar voice behind me said, “Eugenie.”