I jerked away. Whenever he talked about me being reasonable, it usually involved harm to my children.

“Dorian’s going to get better,” I said. “Just wait until morning. You’ll see.”

“Yes,” Kiyo said grimly. “I will.”

I stormed off to where Dorian sat and managed to get him upright. I walked him a little ways from where the others were sleeping and tried to ignore that he moved much more stiffly than he had earlier. Once I was satisfied we were still within safety but wouldn’t interrupt anyone’s sleep with talking, I settled him back down in the grass. After a moment’s thought, I laid him down and curled up by his side. His green eyes looked dark in the poor lighting and stared up at the stars without seeing them.

“Don’t leave me with him,” I whispered fiercely. “Don’t leave me alone. You’re the only one who really understands me in all of this, and I know Kiyo’s wrong. You’re going to get better. We need you too much. I need you.”

I nearly started in on the same spiel I had before, about how we couldn’t pull this mission off without Dorian’s skills. Then, I reconsidered. I’d been going on with that song and dance all day—and it had had no effect. You must give them a reason to come back.

“I’m sorry,” I said, still keeping my voice low so that only Dorian could hear. And I was certain he could. He had to. “I’m sorry I haven’t been very nice to you ... for a while. You’ve done a lot for me—probably more than anyone else—and I threw a lot of it back at you. That was wrong. I mean, I don’t agree with the philosophy of the Iron Crown—you know I don’t—but I understand why you did it. And I know it wasn’t done to be manipulative. Not intentionally, anyway. I know how you are. You need to get things accomplished, and when you see the most efficient way, you do it. It’s why you’re such a great leader. It’s why people will follow you anywhere.”

No response, of course. I felt tears spill out of my eyes and was again overcome with the wrongness of this. Things like this didn’t happen to Dorian. Others, maybe. But not him.