I put my hands on Cole’s chest and move him back toward the wall of the barn. I need the feeling of his whole body pressed against mine—solid and real—as our lips find each other.

I have never in my life kissed anyone like this, so deep that it’s like we’re the air in each other’s lungs. Like I’m trying to find a way under his skin.

We’re making a home inside each other. Burrowing our way in.

If I can just get deep enough, nobody will be able to find me.

Cole will keep me safe.

I slip my hands under his sweater and rake my fingernails across his stomach. I tease him. Just the lightest touch. One finger dipping below the waistband of his jeans. His mouth is open.

Tongues. Lips. Teeth.

Cole moans, low in his throat. I catch the sound in my mouth and swallow it. It makes me feel powerful and sexy.

Like I’m in control of at least one goddamn thing. At least in this moment. Right now I know who I am and what I’m doing. Who I’m with. Where I am.

What is real.

And what I want.

Cole is still kissing me. His tongue is insistent against the soft inside of my cheek. Then tickling against the roof of my mouth. He slides his hands under my shirt, up my back to unhook my bra. I hear him say my name, deep and throaty. It sounds like waves against the sand.

I shiver hard, and I know Cole feels it. Because he stops.

He’s breathing so heavy, but he puts his hands on my shoulders and pushes me back. The space between us feels cold. He’s watching me with gray eyes.

“Avril,” he says. “What happened to you in there?” I just stand there with my mouth half open. I don’t know what to tell him. “Whatever that was,” he warns me, “you can’t ever do that to yourself ever again. I don’t give a shit about the play. Or what my mother wants you to do. Wherever you went there, it wasn’t a safe place for you.”

“Since when did you give a fuck about being safe?” I’m teasing. Reaching for him again. But Cole hears the truth in my voice.

“I’m serious,” he says. “It’s dangerous. Looking into the darkness like that.” His eyes are full of fog. “Believe me. I know.”

I untangle myself from Cole. I can stand on my own.

“Why didn’t you come and find me last night?” I ask him. “After rehearsal.”

He runs a hand through those dark waves. “I got lost last night,” he tells me, and I’m staring at that compass rose tattoo. “I couldn’t even find myself.”