When the Off-Key closing credits begin to roll 136 minutes after the opening credits, and Mac Murdock's and my entourages are escorted out a side exit of the theater to thunderous applause, I start to hyperventilate. It's not because I could hear Sky's high-pitched cackle during the whole movie (she was a few rows behind me), or because I had just spent over two hours watching myself onscreen. The real reason for my freak-out is that I can't stop thinking about what's next on tonight's agenda -- the big talk about hiatus.

"Take deep breaths." Liz puts a firm hand on my shoulder as we're ushered inside the after-party. I exhale slowly. Okay, I think I'm ready to do this....

I lied. I want to throw up.

Well, at least I'll be sick somewhere fabulous. The LAX hangar where the Off-Key party is being held is lit almost entirely with tall white beeswax candles, and the fake-palm tree-bedecked dance floor is packed with people swaying to a Kanye West tune mixed by DJ-AM. Waiters are milling about the room dressed in Russian military uniforms, just like the one Mac steals to sneak onto the base where Kather-ine is being held captive. In a separate area is a piano bar where musicians are playing the same tunes Bo and Kather-ine practice during a scene in their Brooklyn loft.

Smack dab in the middle of the hangar, Liz and I are escorted to a reserved booth and given virgin "Macho Mac Margaritas."(Party planners think it's cute to come up with custom drinks named after the movie's stars. Tonight there's even a "Kaitlin Kola," which is vanilla-, raspberry-, and cherry-flavored Coke. It's actually pretty good.)

Nadine slides in the booth next to me. "Okay, I just saw your parents and Matt talking to Sandra Bullock," she murmurs, glancing around the room. "They should be making their way over here shortly. That is, unless Matt begs her to make Miss Congeniality 3 with him as her costar."

I take another deep breath. "I can do this," I reassure Nadine and Liz. "What's the worst thing that can happen anyway?" An annoying laugh pierces my eardrum. The three of us turn to see where the noise is coming from and spot Sky and Trevor holding court with a reporter and camera crew from Celeb Insider.

"Um, that Sky overhears you and sets out to singlehand-edly destroy your career?" Nadine offers brightly.

Liz nudges her. "That's not going to happen," she instructs us both.

"Of course not." I pluck the lime from my Macho Mac Margarita. "Sky's already got her tabloid story for the night." Liz and Nadine look confused. "Guys, how could you forget so quickly? Didn't you see me spill my popcorn all over her in the lobby? It's a good thing Trev was there to save her from my evil greasy clutches."

Liz giggles.