Tori realized she was very nervous. There was so much to think about. She also realized that once she thought about things, she would have to take action. If the past twenty years hadn’t taught her a lesson, then she would never learn. She was happy she had chosen to tell her boss about her situation. It gave her enough confidence to get through another day. The pregnancy would be a challenge, but she was feeling better about it now that she knew her employer would be on her side. She didn’t want to think about how her husband would react to the news. She also knew she might have to leave him at some point. As confused as she was, one thing was for certain—she was not going to spend her life having more regrets. She knew people stayed together “because of the kids,” but kids are a lot smarter and much more in tune with what is going on around them than adults give them credit for. Kids can sense tension. Most people can. But kids internalize it more. They will blame themselves for the tension between their parents. She knew that firsthand. For years, she blamed herself for her mother’s drinking and her father’s absence. But by the time she was twelve and had to care for her little brother, she was aware enough to realize that her circumstances were not her fault. The sad part was that she never took care of herself. Sure, as far as hair, clothes, makeup as she got older, but mentally she was “on hold.” She kept believing the answer was ahead, never thinking it was within her.

Since working at the law firm, she had witnessed a lot of reasons for the sort of domestic turmoil that led to divorce. Most of the time it was infidelity, but the infidelity was a result of someone’s not feeling loved, not being emotionally supported, or just mutual disengagement. On countless occasions, she had heard the words “We drifted apart.” It made her wonder about the word “drifted.” Were they ever on course, or were they always adrift? Looking back, she realized that she and her husband had been adrift from the beginning. First it was being adrift from their families. Second, they were adrift from a purpose. A goal. Consequently, they drifted away from each other, but neither one recognized it. At least neither admitted it. Now that she was finally aware of how her lack of a compass had gotten her into this boggy mess, she wasn’t going to let her boat run aground again. Not if she could help it. But enough of the metaphors, she thought to herself. But they gave her a clear picture of her situation.