‘Wait,’ Alex said, soothingly, ‘let’s get some perspective on this. He’s taking you out as a thank you. Or a sorry, or something. Of course you want to go, and of course you want to look your best, but this isn’t a date. You just need to feel comfortable and relaxed. Maybe … I don’t know, do you have anything baggy?’

‘Oh Alex, that is so you.’ Tamsyn rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. Sue, you have amazing clothes in here … Somewhere, I’m sure. I’m going to style you. While I explore the, um, options, such as they are, Alex you get Sue in the shower. You need to put a shedload of conditioner on that hair, and leave it in. OK? Trust me, I know curls and how to tame them. Also, maybe shave your legs, I’m just saying. Sometimes it’s good to be less hairy than your pets.’

‘Oooh, this is fun,’ Alex said. ‘Normally it’s me that everyone wants to dress up like a girl, and now I understand why!’

‘I can’t go,’ Sue said again, unhappily, this time burying her face in her hands.

‘Why?’ Tamsyn asked, sitting down next to her on the bed. ‘See this red tartan skirt, it’s actually quite sexy? Or it will be once I’ve taken it up four inches.’

‘Because Rory has left me for another woman,’ Sue said. ‘There’s the pageant to organise, and the grotto to set up. The choir is one thing, but I can’t leave Cordelia in charge of the grotto, can you imagine? It will turn into a bat cave, or something. And I really wanted to have some time with the children tonight; they’ve barely seen either of their parents for an age. What sort of a selfish, stupid, silly woman would I be to go out to dinner with a movie star who is only doing it out of some weirdly chivalrous attempt to apologise for being too famous? It’s preposterous! It’s not my life. I’m not going. And that’s final.’

Alex and Tamsyn exchanged a look.

‘Well,’ Tamsyn said, ‘we could talk about Rory, and the pageant, the mysterious motives for your dinner invitation, but we won’t. We’ll save that for when you get back from you dinner date. And don’t worry about the bat cave, I mean the grotto. I can be here tonight to supervise … in fact I wondered if—’

‘I’m not going,’ Sue said.

‘Just get in the shower,’ Alex said. ‘We’ll start with a shower. And see how you feel afterwards.’

‘OK, but I’m not going,’ Sue repeated.

‘And don’t forget the razor,’ Tamsyn called after them. ‘Less hair is more!’

‘You look great,’ Tamsyn said, as she tucked one of Sue’s newly glossed curls behind her ear. ‘Stunning.’