‘It should be.’ Cordelia lowered her voice further still. ‘And how about you? How are you holding up? Heard anything from Rory yet?’

Sue shook her head.

‘The kids were asking about him again,’ Cordelia said. ‘They want to know why they can’t speak to him.’

‘His phone just goes to voicemail.’ Sue nodded. ‘I’ve tried, but he’s clearly not ready to talk.’

‘He’s a coward,’ Cordelia told her. ‘And you’re awesome. You are the heart of Poldore. We’ll get you through this crap, and then when you feel like it you can take a lover. You are in your sexual prime, you know, and I bet Rory was never up to much in—’

‘And, anyway, we really must be getting on.’ Sue smiled.

‘Can I offer you cake?’ Sue asked Nick as she joined him at the table.

‘Oh no, I’m off carbs,’ he told her quite seriously, even as Wash nestled on the shelf created by his massive stomach.

‘Are you?’ Sue said, unable to direct her gaze away from his paunch.

‘Trapped wind,’ he told her.

‘Fine, well, so. We only open the grotto on one day, on Christmas Eve, the day of the pageant. It’s open all day from ten in the morning, but we find we get the most traffic later in the day when everyone comes to watch the pageant. We close it at ten o’clock at night. It’s a long day, but we schedule in three hour-long breaks for you.’

‘Sounds wonderful,’ Nick said. ‘And should leave me plenty of time for present delivering.’

‘Um, great … Well, obviously, the main thing is maintaining the magic for the children. So you have to be in character all of the time, although I don’t think that will be a problem for you. We find out the names of children as they come in, and then an elf will tell you so that you can greet the children with their names. Obviously a lot of children ask for things that their parents can’t get for them, from a games console to a trip to Mars, so we encourage you to not definitely promise that sort of gift. If you can say, “I’ll see what I can do,” or “I promise you’ll love the present you get,” and—’

‘Shall we rehearse?’ Nick asked her, jumping to his feet, sending Wash scrambling down the slope of his belly. ‘If you could take me to the solar, so I can get a feel for it? And then we can rehearse.’