I realized who I spoke to and I wished the ground would open up and swallow me.

I chanced a glance at Slavik to find him smiling. “It’s cute to watch you panic.”

“This isn’t funny.”

“It’s hilarious. You’re the first woman in my life to be honest with me.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Most people hate me, remember?”

“No, they don’t hate you. They fear you. It’s different.” I’d been hated most of my life, or not liked. Do not go down that morbid self-pitying hole, Aurora. I forced a smile to my lips.

“Do you fear me?” he asked.

“Sometimes.”

“You have no reason to fear me.”

“You’re my husband.”

“And I will protect you.”

“Unless you feel I’m trouble for Ivan Volkov. I know my value only exists while I play nice. If I cause you or the Volkov Bratva trouble, my days are numbered.”

“Do you have any reason to risk your life?”

“No. I intend to live a long and happy prison sentence.” I slapped my hand across my mouth.

“You find being with me a prison sentence.”

I winced. “No. It’s … I meant my family.”

“Aurora, I’m not an idiot.”

“It’s not a prison sentence, okay? I didn’t mean it like that and I know it sounded like that, but I promise, it wasn’t.”

I’d screwed up.

“You’re a guy in this world. You wouldn’t understand what I meant. It’s different for men.”

“Try me. I don’t see much different. You were ordered to get married to me. I was instructed to marry you. We both serve the Volkov Bratva. Our roles are different, but we’re the same.”

“You can do what you want,” I said.

“Elaborate.”

My mouth went dry. “If you wanted a mistress or other women, you’d have them. I couldn’t do anything about it. I could scream and get angry. You killed Sergei for kissing me. We weren’t having an affair. You didn’t see Cara as a threat. It’s why she’s still walking around. You get to do things. I … stay at your apartment. I have no purpose. I’m not allowed to go to college, or get a job.”

“Do you want those things?” he asked.

I shrugged. “I think I’d like the option.”

Slavik continued to stare at me, and I averted my gaze. The early part of our marriage was a nightmare, no doubt about it. There was no love, not even conversation. We’d cohabited the same space.

Now, nearly ten months together, we’d changed. We talked, made love, fucked, and spent time together. Not just for the cameras either, or the spies. I enjoyed his company. He didn’t scare me. I never believed he’d hurt me, not really.

The threat was obviously always there, but it had nothing to do with him.

Our positions were thrust on us by our positions.

I wondered if he’d have tried harder with Isabella.

Don’t go there. No pity party for Aurora.

When Isabella did visit the last time with the whole fish dinner, Slavik hadn’t paid her the slightest bit of attention. He hadn’t shown me any either.