He looked across the expanse of sunken living room to the other side of the space where the kitchen was. Knight and his two girls were there too, cooking. He saw Knight smiling, Kat giggling and Kasha in her own world, not helping her father and sister, but for some reason she was in the middle of the kitchen twirling.

There it was again. Knight was a natural at everything he touched.

Even being a dad.

There were parts of that that weren’t really a surprise. Their mother, back then fucked way the hell up, had had Knight and named him so he’d be her protector.

But not in a million years would Nick guess his brother would be comfortable in a kitchen with two little girls, letting one twirl happily in her own world while making the other one giggle.

And not in a million years would Nick guess he’d be happy seeing his brother had that, content in his place being a part of it, and not feeling less because of either.

He turned back to Anya.

And Anya, being his in a way he would also never guess he wanted, but in a way now he wasn’t sure he could live without, that being the sister he’d never had, he laid it out.

“I don’t think of Hettie anymore.”

She looked confused and spoke cautiously, “I…well, I can’t tell by the way you said that. Is that good?”

“I don’t know,” Nick replied. “Is it good not to think of someone you loved who you watched get shot in the head?”

Her face registered a minor wince and he wished he hadn’t laid it out so bluntly.

Before he could apologize, her eyes swept to the kitchen and she moved closer.

“Eventually, to heal and be able to move on, you have to stop thinking about her,” she told him softly.

Nick looked to the lights of Denver.

“I think it’s healthy, Nick,” she kept on and then assured, “And it’s not a betrayal. Honey, you know…” he felt her get even closer, “it’s been years.”

“There’s someone else,” he murmured.

“Good,” she replied.

He turned to her. “I can’t have her.”

Her mouth turned down. “Bad.”

Nick looked back to the night. “Maybe I should just get the fuck outta Denver and start over.”

“Well, although an option, I do think Kasha would pitch an unholy fit at the very thought. Kat wouldn’t be far from her sister in that, but she’d be quieter about it. And your brother would lose his mind.”

Nick loved that at the same time it felt heavy.

He also felt Anya’s fingers curl around his.

“But you have to take care of you,” she whispered.

He looked down at her and dipped his face close. “Could you fall in love after Knight?”