“They might not, but we do.” We both know when it happened. During the ambush at Jack’s grandfather’s cabin, a group of Seasons had us surrounded. Julio and Amber had suffered mortal wounds, and my power was fading fast. The three of us were bleeding and dying, and in a final bid to save us, Jack had taken the magic from a dying Winter named Névé Onding, knowing she couldn’t be saved. Even if she could have been healed, I’m not convinced she would have deserved that mercy after what she tried to do to us.

The magic Jack took from Névé gave us the strength to survive the night. Only when we woke did we realize how Jack would continue to be affected by it. That guilt rode Jack’s conscience like an angry ghost. He still wonders sometimes—we all do—if a piece of Névé Onding’s soul clung to him that day. If it lingers in his smaze even now.

I can’t help but think that’s why Gaia told him it would be dangerous to reclaim it. Because that smaze isn’t truly Jack’s alone anymore.

“I know it will be painful, but Lyon said—”

“Lyon’s a liar and a manipulator! If that thing is broken and painful, why would he offer to give it back?”

“That thing was part of me!”

“It’s not a part of who you are now! Do you really want to risk that?” A tear slides down my cheek as he looks at me with such yearning in his eyes, a quiet desperation I haven’t seen in a long time. Suddenly, it’s like I’m staring at him through a chain-link fence, our hands clasping the wire mesh, our foreheads close but never touching. He knew what he wanted that night when I tracked him to that construction site, ready to follow the rules and end his season. He knew what he was willing to risk to protect me, so we could be together. He didn’t care that it was reckless and deadly; he had made his choice already.

“You want to go back anyway, don’t you? That’s what you want. To go back to the Observatory.”

“I would never leave you alone here. Not ever.” He hesitates, as if he’s weighing his words. “But what if . . . what if I wanted us to go back? Just for a while. Just to see—”

My head shakes as I cup his cheek, turning him to face me. “There was no us there, Jack,” I whisper. “It was you and me on opposite sides of the Crux, killing each other over and over. It was Lyon and Gaia making bets on the future of two lonely, hopeless kids as they gambled with our lives. And I love you too much to ever go back to that. We have everything we need. Right here. Don’t we?”