When we returned, two days afterwards…the old man… met us with a dance and song of joy…A hatchet and several presents were made to them, and as I intended to return to Port Jackson the next day every possible means were taken to secure his friendship, but when it was dark he stole a spade, and was caught in the fact. I thought it necessary to show that I was displeased with him, and therefore, when he came to me, pushed him away, and gave him two or three slight slaps on the shoulder with the open hand, at the same time pointing to the spade. This destroyed our friendship in a moment, and seizing a spear he came close up to me, poised it, and appeared determined to strike; but whether from seeing that his threats were not regarded— for I chose rather to risk the spear than fire on him—or from anything the other natives said who surrounded him, after a few moments he dropped his spear and left us.

I read this again and again, trying to make sense of it. It was so sad and puzzling. Why was the old man so welcoming, why did he dance with joy? If he’d wanted to steal the spade, wouldn’t he have been able to do it well enough to avoid being caught? Why didn’t he spear Phillip?

I could hear Phillip’s voice, but I couldn’t hear the old man’s. I had a feeling he might have told the story differently.

Only a short time later, back in the settlement, the governor’s gamekeeper was speared. No one knew why (or if they did, they weren’t telling). This time Phillip sent a party of soldiers out. The captain in charge, Watkin Tench, left this account of his orders:

His Excellency informed me…that we were to proceed to the peninsula at the head of Botany Bay…and thence… to bring away two natives as prisoners; and to put to death ten; that we were to…cut off and bring in the heads of the slain; for which purpose hatchets and bags would be furnished.

No one died on this occasion but it wasn’t long before the violence started.

Aboriginal people attacked settlers; settlers and soldiers attacked back. Not every day, not every week. But on and off, like a headache.

Where these things happened wasn’t always specified, but two places were often mentioned: the Nepean River and the Hawkesbury River. Even though I’d lived in Sydney all my life, I realised I was confused about exactly where they were.

The map showed me why. Sydney is on the seaward edge of a natural basin ringed by mountains. When the first European explorers headed south-west, they came across a river that flowed from south to north along the base of these mountains, and called it the Nepean. Other explorers headed north, and came across a river that flowed from west to east. They called it the Hawkesbury. It took them quite some time to realise that these were the same river. In the north-west corner of the basin, the river did an abrupt right-angle turn.