[P.S.] [* * *]—have been reading Camus (off and on)…3 books’ worth that I haven’t got to. stories not so hot, rather common and ordinary, standard. essays contain good brain matter and have quality but the style is so dull! why do they have to put us asleep to teach us?

[To Jon and Louise Webb]

March 8, 1966

back couple of days but first day I’ve had strength or guts to reach typer. I don’t know how long it will take me to shape up. just about out of vacation time and sick leave shot. sad song.—hope you got package o.k. with mags and tapes. keep tapes away from machinery or they will fade.—each bowel movement here a real crucifixion; but operation I’m told was simply for removal of an extreme (15 year) hemorrhoid condition, plus, I believe removal of part of intestine pushed out of shape with strain. not very pretty what,??? nothing like a good clean heart attack—it seems so much more honorable, but, of course, it’s not truly so. (Doc examined my innards with snake: what an invention!) would like to get a couple of new and fresh tapes to you but am simply in no shape to do so now. I do hope that we have a little more time. the $$$ situation looks bad; my pay will stop Monday and all operation will not be paid by my insurance. also have payments to Frances. various other things. but believe all will work out and I will be rolling again. god, it looks like we are all broke this time, TOGETHER!!

it’s good, tho, to be alone again, out of the hospital, near the typer and the radio and Camus, and the sun and the sound of things flowing together. all will work, and easily, our luck is strong. health and love to you. Marina is so BEAUTIFUL!!!

[To William Want-ling]

March 9, 1966

when you consider all the men born who are now dead, and when you consider the remaining living, these remaining living seem not only some miraculous mathematic, but also seem something to get done with: like a pruning or a picking or an ultimate road-end. would it be too precious to say that we live almost with a sense of shame, as if we were getting away with something? I would hardly regard my upcoming death as anything sorrowful or tragic—just the removal of garbage and a hacking voice that talks too much of too little.

—Bukowski, 3-9-66

[* * *]

[To Ann Menebroker]

March 11, 1966

“green,” new trend? “green, green, I want you green!”—Lorca. the use of “green” is now mostly an ultra-poetic Romanticism. of course, the word “green” is not outlawed but it is generally used by the pretenders and most poetry is written by pretenders. the living are busy doing something else.