Oh my God—I would never resent that.

I know.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think you have to tell Lincoln that your period is late or irregular. People don’t talk to their husbands about their periods.

I do.

Why?

I don’t know. Because it’s happening. Because I need somebody to get me bananas in the middle of the night, so that I can take my Advil.

Jennifer

You still get cramps?

Beth

Yeah. Like clockwork.

I don’t miss cramps.

I never thought I would either—but now I think I’ll miss the whole thing. The routine of it. The cycle. The *clockwork*. I could depend on it.

What can I depend on now?

Time marching on?

You’re not very comforting.

I know; I never have been. But I’m very good at commiserating.

You are a genius commiserator.

You’re commiserating with me now, and you don’t even have ovaries.

Just because you talk to your husband about your period sometimes doesn’t mean you have to talk to him about it this time. Do you think he’ll notice that you’re late?

No . . . but I think he’s already noticed that I’m anxious.

You could tell him why you’re anxious?

What if *he* thinks I might be pregnant? What if he *hopes*?

Would he hope?

I think he always kind of hoped.

Well, you hoped, too.

Yeah. But not anymore. I put that behind me.

Maybe he put it behind him, too.

I don’t want to remind him.

You don’t want to remind him that you don’t have kids?

Honestly? Yeah.

I try to keep him focused on everything we have. I lean into our assets.

Do you mean that you try to keep yourself focused on what you have?

It’s the same difference!

And I hate to say this, but you were better at commiserating before you went to therapy.

Mitch says the same thing.

Always with the insightful questions now.

I know. I apologize.

I can’t say, “Lincoln, it’s our anniversary, and all I’m thinking about is that my period is late, and that that doesn’t mean what it used to mean; it means that it’s finally over.”

Don’t tell your husband, on your anniversary, that it’s finally over.

But it is! You know what I mean!

That isn’t going to happen for us now, and I already knew it wasn’t going to happen, and I never fought that hard to make it happen. But now it’s over. It’s over. I’m diminishing. It’s time for Galadriel to head into the west.

Jennifer

Is that the Lord of the Rings speech?

Beth

Yes! How did you know that?!!

I know some things. Occasionally.

I think it might be a little melodramatic to announce your perimenopause with a speech from Lord of the Rings.

You know . . .