Back Scared to Live Save as PDF
Chapters (44)
  1. Dedication
  2. Chapter One
  3. Chapter Two
  4. Chapter Three
  5. Chapter Four
  6. Chapter Five
  7. Chapter Six
  8. Chapter Seven
  9. Chapter Eight
  10. Chapter Nine
  11. Chapter Ten
  12. Chapter Eleven
  13. Chapter Twelve
  14. Chapter Thirteen
  15. Chapter Fourteen
  16. Chapter Fifteen
  17. Chapter Sixteen
  18. Chapter Seventeen
  19. Chapter Eighteen
  20. Chapter Nineteen
  21. Chapter Twenty
  22. Chapter Twenty-One
  23. Chapter Twenty-Two
  24. Chapter Twenty-Three
  25. Chapter Twenty-Four
  26. Chapter Twenty-Five
  27. Chapter Twenty-Six
  28. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  29. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  30. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  31. Chapter Thirty
  32. Chapter Thirty-One
  33. Chapter Thirty-Two
  34. Chapter Thirty-Three
  35. Chapter Thirty-Four
  36. Chapter Thirty-Five
  37. Chapter Thirty-Six
  38. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  39. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  40. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  41. Chapter Forty
  42. About the Author
  43. Also by Stephen Booth
  44. About the Publisher

‘But she wasn’t British at all. She was half Bulgarian, and half Irish. According to the files from Sofia, her mother was a nurse from County Galway who met a Bulgarian soldier.’

‘I know.’

He couldn’t quite interpret the look that Fry gave him. Maybe she just wanted to change the subject, or maybe she really was concerned for his welfare.

‘Are you all right now, Ben? You’re not still bothered by John Lowther’s death?’

Cooper was about to say no, he wasn’t. But then he realized there were thoughts just below the surface that he hadn’t had a chance to tell anybody about until now.

‘He’d already stopped taking his medication, hadn’t he?’ he said.

‘Yes, some weeks ago. Lindsay became completely absorbed with the baby. She forgot about her brother’s needs, or maybe she thought he was well enough to cope on his own. But he wasn’t – he began to slip.’

‘I bet he knew there was something wrong. But once his thoughts became too disordered, he wouldn’t know why, or what the problem was. Unless the voices gave him an explanation.’

‘You’re empathizing with a psychotic?’ said Fry in amazement. ‘Now I’ve heard everything.’

Cooper took no notice. ‘John Lowther’s problem was that he saw too clearly, wasn’t it?’

‘What? What did he see?’

‘The ghastly, naked spectre of insanity,’ said Cooper, hardly knowing whether he was speaking out loud.

‘Where on earth does that come from, Ben?’

‘I can’t remember. It’s just a phrase that stuck in my mind from somewhere.’

Fry sniffed. ‘More likely he couldn’t live with the knowledge that his father had involved him in a murder.’

‘Yes, that as well. If he really understood what was happening.’

Cooper paused, considering his own comment. Because that wasn’t what had been haunting John Lowther in those final moments, was it? His last words, as the air had snatched him from the tower on the Heights of Abraham, hadn’t referred to Rose Shepherd, but to his sister and her children. I heard them scream. I’ll always hear them scream. So those screams must have been inside John Lowther’s head. Just one final illusion.

And Cooper knew there was something else he shouldn’t mention to Fry. He couldn’t help feeling sorry for both the Mullens and the Lowthers. The Mullens’s desperation for a girl had brought terrible consequences for them. In a way, Brian and Lindsay had sacrificed two children for one, as if they’d been playing some ghastly game of chess. A game that they’d lost, in the end.

‘The Mullens did it all for the sake of that third child,’ he said, because that was a safe way to say it.

Fry nodded. ‘And the child wasn’t even theirs.’