Sassafrass’ face nearly hit the floor. She glanced at Mitch to see where he was at, and he was enjoying his clout with the fellas, because he announced: “Sassafrass got some of the best pussy west of the Rockies, man, and I don’t care who knows it, ’cause it’s mine!”

They all laughed raucously, except Sassafrass was glaring from her inmost marrow and wishing there was some way to get rid of male crassness once and for all time. She called herself being kind to Mitch, because he liked his friends, while she began discreetly leaving the room. But Otis called out for a thorough reading of his new work, to Mitch’s accompaniment on sax and Howard’s innovative percussion with a worndown tambourine.

THE REVUE

Otis: Sassafrass, you gotta sit in this barber chair and be the queen you are, while I read this masterpiece (teehee) of mine for all y’all black women all over the world.

Sassafrass: Otis, I, ah, gotta get started on something, ya know.

Otis, Mitch, Howard (in unison): Nononono . . . you gotta hear this one, babeee!

(Mitch picks Sassafrass off her feet and places her in the chair, squeezes her leg, and smiles)

Mitch: Go on, Otis. We gotta celebrate this woman of mine even if she doesn’t understand why we gotta have her, every morning . . . in the evenin’ when the sun go down . . .

(Mitch sings like he is Ray Charles, and shakes all around like Little Richard)

Otis: I’ma start now. I’ma read all about it, but first I wanna say, a la Edwin Starr circa 1963:

extra extra reeeeeeead allll about itttttt

extra extra reeeeeeead allll about itttttt

(Howard, Mitch, and Otis do old Temptations Apollo routines around Sassafrass, who is enjoying this worship from the du-wop straddlers in spite of herself)

Howard: Aw right. Now Otis, get it on . . . we ready.

Otis: ebony cunt: for my mama and my grandma and all the women I rammed in Macon, Georgia when I was visitin’ my cousins at age sixteen:

The white man want you/ the Indian run off with you Spaniards created whole nations with you/ black queensilk snatch

I wander all in your wombs & make babies in the Bronx when I come/ you screammmmmmm/ jesus/ my blk man ebony cunt is worth all the gold in the world/ 15 millions of your shinin’ blk bodies crossed the sea to bring all that good slick pussy to me . . .

(Sassafrass stands up like a mannequin, and gazes absolutely redfaced at Otis, Mitch, and Howard, all of whom stare back at her, uncomprehending)

Mitch: Sassafrass, what’s wrong with you? Sit down. Otis gotta finish the book; he isn’t even done with the first page . . .