We are still in the kasbah. The waiter has put on some music. It’s Fatet Ganbenà, this love song (all of his songsare love songs) by Abdel Halim Hafez composed by thegreat Mohamed Abdelwahab. Abdelkébir seems to beenjoying it. He usually listens to nothing but the Doors,Jimi Hendrix, the Rolling Stones, David Bowie but herehe is, Abdelkébir, savoring this marvelously famous andtypically Egyptian ballad that tells the story of two friendswho see this very beautiful girl pass in front of them. Andonce she’s ahead of them, she turns around and smiles.The big question, the one that holds you in suspensethroughout the song (even if you know how it ends), is:who did the girl smile at? At Abdel Halim Hafez or at hisfriend?

Fatet Ganbenà is very long, more than an hour long, but it never gets boring. Maybe this is the first time Abdelkébirhas played it. You can see he wants to listen to it all the waythrough, find out how it ends.

He orders more tea. Generous: he calls the waiter back and asks him to bring us some pastry, and not just anykind, only gazelle horns will do. Reluctantly, Mustapha andI are celebrating something. Some event. At least it’s notsome catastrophe.

Is this the first time Abdelkébir has been in love? Did he make love for the first time in his life in Tetouan?

Can celebrating someone else’s happiness have dangerous consequences for your own health?

And what about Abdel Halim Hafez, who I really like, should I start hating him now, now that he’s celebratingAbdelkébir s love right along with him and showing no pityfor my poor heart? His song Fatet Ganbenà is proving to bemy enemy. An enemy who can turn up anywhere, follow meanywhere. Curse me. Put a spell on me. Hurt me. Blind me.Paralyze me. Assassinate me.

I am writing my loser thoughts down in this journal. Abdelkébir can hardly pay attention to us. He’s totally intothe song, taken over by the emotion it releases, the emotionit brings out in him. He’s not here, not with us. With noremorse, he has abandoned us.

Fatet Ganbenà is ending. The really pretty girl has just told Abdel Halim Hafez that he, the handsome dark-hairedman, he is the one she was smiling at. The audience interrupts the singer, shows him it’s wild with joy. Abdel HalimHafez triumphs. He’s reached a state of osmosis with his public.

And right there with them sits Abdelkébir who is teary eyed now. It’s a moment of celebration. Sad people, people like thesinger’s friend, people like me, we don’t have a seat in thatecstatic crowd.

How sad and cruel happiness sometimes is!

And jealousy is sometimes legitimate, necessary!