I jump out of the car and slam the door shut behind me. I hear him get out, too, and then he’s calling my name, but I’m practically running to my building.

I’m relieved to find that the lobby is empty. I furiously press the button for the elevator. When it arrives a few seconds later, I practically fall into it. I lean back against the wall as the doors close in front of me and the elevator begins to ascend slowly.

Jesus Christ, what was I just thinking! Clearly I wasn’t. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been making out with the defendant in the front seat of his car.

I can’t believe I did that. That’s not me. I don’t do reckless things like that. Especially not things that would put my job at risk.

I let myself into my apartment and drop my bag on the counter. Just as I do, my cell starts to ring. I go through my purse and pull it out.

Grayson’s calling.

I stare at his name for a long moment. And for the first time in a really long time, tears well up in my eyes.

I reject his call, leave my cell on the kitchen counter, walk through to my bedroom, and undress. Falling into bed, I let the tears flow. How did I make that mistake?

But that’s when I realize that my tears are about something else, too.

Because I can’t have what I want.

And right now, that’s Grayson.

Chapter 13

I’ve shut down my computer. I need to talk to Ben. Though I’ve been putting this off all day, I can’t put it off any longer. I want off this case. In all honesty, I also have to tell him that there’s a personal conflict. I’ll have to deal with the consequences, whatever they may be. My stomach roils with unease. Forcing strength, I get up from my desk and leave my office, heading down the hall.

Ben’s door is ajar, and I hear him talking to someone. It takes me a moment to realize that he’s on the phone. I’m just about to walk away when he says something that catches my attention.

“—Dolphins versus Browns, next month. Yeah, put fifty grand on the Browns.” Silence, and then he laughs. “Yeah, well, maybe I’ve got a good feeling about this one.”

Feeling sick, I take a step back, my hand pressed to my stomach. I glance around to make sure no one has seen me and hurry back to my office.

I close the door behind me and lean against it, feeling off-balance.

What the hell did I just hear?

Ben wouldn’t be pushing up Grayson’s charge just to win a bet, right?

Grayson is the star quarterback. If the team loses him, they’ll probably lose most of their games. Even against a team playing as poorly as the Browns are this season.

Ben wouldn’t do that.

Would he?

I slump down in my desk chair. My cell rings on my desk. I pick it up, answering on autopilot as I usually do during the workday, and don’t even look at the caller display.