“I haven’t sacrificed?” His gaze hardened. “I’m here with you, aren’t I? Tomorrow is Epsom. I have two horses running, a shop that’s packed to the gills, a passel of gentlemen reformers waiting to meet with me, and I’m in bloody Hertfordshire.”

“I didn’t ask you to come.”

“You didn’t have to ask. I’d have been with you every moment if I could. I’d never have let you go with Mannering in the first place. I’d have taken you home with me that night where you belong. You’d have been mine and I’d have been yours.” His eyes smoldered. “The only thing keeping us apart is you.”

Effie steeled herself against another swell of yearning. “And yet, I’m the one who must bend.”

“No. All you must do is cease pursuing Compton, for your own good, Effie, and for mine. God knows I’ve offered you enough in exchange for it. A fine home, handsome clothes, a carriage. And myself—which would be sufficient on its own if you felt anything for me even approaching what I feel for you.”

“You forgot the thirty pieces of silver,” she replied quietly.

He stilled. A derisive huff emerged from his lips. “My offer makes you a Judas, does it?”

“I would be if I accepted it. I’d be betraying my sisters.”

“Your sisters,” he scoffed.

“I’d be betraying myself. What security is there in being dependent on you for the smallest thing? You’re not, after all, offering me marriage.”

He looked at her steadily, his face taut with anger and some other emotion she couldn’t fully grasp. “Why offer what you won’t accept?”

“No. You’re right. There’s no need at all.”

The train slowed on the track, approaching the station.

Know your surroundings. Know your opponent. Know yourself.

The three rules reverberated in Effie’s muddled brain in time with the rattle of the wheels on the track. She had always believed that, whatever else happened, she knew herself. Her goals, her desires. But not any longer. She’d had everything backward and inside out. What she needed was clarity, and there was only one person who could give it to her.

Coming to an abrupt decision, Effie stood from her seat.

Gabriel rose at once beside her, his hat in his hand.

She backed to the door of the compartment, the floor of the train shuddering beneath her feet. “I’m disembarking. Pray don’t follow me.”

A flash of emotion crossed Gabriel’s face. “Effie, wait—”

“I have something I must do alone.”

“Next stop, Waltham Station!” the brakeman shouted down the corridor as the train rolled to a halt. “Waltham Abbey, Loughton, and the Epping Forest!”

Understanding registered in Gabriel’s eyes. “You’re going to the orphanage.”

“I must,” she said.

He moved to follow her.

She set her hand flat on his chest. “No.”