‘No, it is not,’ Calidus said. ‘But a man of your mind-set. I imagine it is hard to come to terms with such a shift in reality, almost like the ground changing beneath your feet.’

‘I have had to think long and hard on it.’

‘Indeed,’ said Calidus, head cocked to one side, studying Veradis intensely, like one of the vultures that circled a battlefield. Veradis walked to a table and poured himself a cup of wine, unable to meet Calidus’ gaze.

‘Have you visited Nathair first?’ Calidus asked him.

‘No,’ Veradis said, sipping dark red wine and taking a step towards Calidus.

‘That is unexpected,’ Calidus frowned.

‘I had some questions,’ Veradis said and took another step closer. ‘For you.’

‘I would be happy to answer them for you, Veradis. You are a valued part of our campaign. Deeply talented at what you do. There is much you can accomplish for us.’

What I do. Kill people. A blunt instrument of war. And, oh, how many I have killed for your cause already . . .

He felt shame and self-loathing rise up like a wave, threatening to engulf him. With an act of will he forced it back down.

But can I kill him, standing before me without a weapon in his hands? It may be murder . . . but in this case I’m willing to make an exception. Maybe then Nathair will see sense.

After leaving Nathair, Veradis had found an abandoned stairwell and sat in solitary silence, thinking over, reliving every moment since he’d met Nathair. Their first meeting with Calidus and Alcyon, when he’d leaped through a wall of fire to defend Nathair, the council of Aquilus, the ants, sailing to Tarbesh and fighting giants and draigs, Telassar and Calidus’ unveiling . . .

And all of it is lies. I have been such a fool. And what more has been done without me by his side that I am unaware of?

And then the hunt for Mandros, Veradis leading a warband into Carnutan to hunt its King. He remembered Mandros’ words in the glade, just before Veradis had slain him.

Nathair killed your King, not I.

‘I understand that all is not black and white, that difficult choices must be made in war. I am no infant to expect anything other.’ He drew in a deep breath. ‘However, there is one thing I must know.’ He looked up now and met Calidus’ eyes. ‘Truth now is all I ask. Did Nathair slay Aquilus?’

‘Of course he did.’ Calidus snorted. ‘He had no choice. It was—’