“Yes.” There were more tears and his heart bled. “I would be a terrible mother, Coal. I don’t have a single maternal bone in my body.” Her eyes were wide. Her nose runny. Her eyes continued to leak tears. He could see that she was trying not to freak out. She was trying not to cry.

He put her down on the bed and held her close.

“Why are we here? We need to get dressed. Fly me to the nearest pharmacy. Better yet, take me to the hospital. Maybe they can—”

“None of that would help.”

“Oh god.” She made a whimpering noise. “Please don’t say that.”

“Shhh.” He rubbed her back.

“Don’t you dare try and calm me down. I don’t want to be calm. This is no time for calm.” She tried to pull away from him.

“You are not in heat yet.”

“You said I was close.”

He nodded. “There is a chance that you won’t become pregnant.”

“A chance…” She covered her face with her hands and made a sobbing noise. “There is a chance I am pregnant. Oh no! I swear, if I’m not we’re never having sex again. We can’t take that risk ever again.”

He tried not to laugh. “We will be having lots of sex, Julie.”

She shook her head. “No! Forget it! If I’m not knocked up we can’t have sex again. We can fool around but that’s it. No sex!”

“Julie.” He brushed the hair from her face. “Let’s see what happens. You might be having a panic attack over nothing. Besides, a baby would be—”

“Don’t say it.” This time when she pulled away he let her. “Don’t talk about how wonderful a baby would be or how precious.”

“Our child would be those things. He would be a perfect combination of us. He would be—”

“Exactly, Coal. He would be… or she… would be incredible. A beautiful cherub. I can just picture his or her toothy grin and chubby hands.” Her eyes brightened up and she almost smiled. Then a cloud descended. “I would ruin it all. I—”

“You would be a good mother, Julie. How can you be so sure that you wouldn’t be? How could you know with such certainty?”

“My mom was awful. She was horrible…” Julie shivered. “I still loved her. I missed her after the state took me away from her.”

Coal felt himself frown. Julie had said that she didn’t remember her mother. He didn’t say anything. She was finally opening up to him and he was damned if he was going to interrupt.