I brought the bar down on her head. That shut her up.

I didn’t bother carrying the bodies into the bathroom. I used the hacksaw to turn them to ash where they lay, the blonde on the bed, the child on the floor.

After catching my breath, I put the ice pick and crowbar in the bag and took a winding route—side streets and alleys—back to the truck, stopping often to make sure nobody was following. I didn’t notice I had blood on my hands until I pulled into the parking lot of my motel.

Even though I was in the blonde’s room for less than five minutes, I feel like I was transformed there, like I burst and shed my old skin. What I fear is that I’m now more akin to one of the monsters than to a man, and farther away from home than ever. Pray for me.

June 30, 1976, Las Vegas

I took water to Sally in the hottest part of the day yesterday and brought him in to finish the Chinese food when the sun went down. He looked even steadier and more clear-eyed, and I thought of Czarnecki’s warning about keeping him weak.

“Did you get the woman?” he asked as he broke open a fortune cookie.

“None of your business,” I replied.

“You don’t seem too happy about it,” he said. “The old man, shit, he’d celebrate afterward, get drunk, fry up a steak, play his cowboy records. You look like someone kicked you in the balls.”

“I don’t take joy in killing, even if it’s monsters,” I said.

“So you’re in the wrong line of work then,” Sally said. “You want my advice? If it doesn’t sit right with you, don’t do it. Walk away. Cut me loose, and walk away.”

“I’ve got a score to settle.”

The kid picked up a chopstick and sighted down it like you would a pool cue to check if it was bowed.

“A rover took someone you knew?” he said.

“My son,” I said. I’ve grown so used to talking about Benny’s death with strangers that it slipped out before I could stop it.

“And how many rovers are you gonna have to kill to get even?” Sally said.

I wasn’t in the mood for a philosophical discussion, especially not with someone who’d say anything to regain his freedom.

“Shut your mouth or it’s back in the box,” I said.

“I wasn’t trying to upset you.”

“Shut your mouth,” I said again, this time acting like I was about to get up and do him harm.

“It’s cool,” Sally said. “Everything’s cool.” He turned to watch television. A news program was on, something about preparations for the Fourth around the country.