The row me and Jesse had over keeping her went for days. I had to make a thousand promises. And I thought he was gonna stomp me a new asshole when he found out I turned her. I couldn’t bear to think of her dying.

I was the only one could pet her feed her or pick her up. She slept next to me and kept watch like a guard dog. She liked it when you scratched her chin but couldn’t abide you touching her paws and if her tail was swishing watch out. Her favorite food was tuna fish out of a tin but she’d eat grapes peanut butter soda crackers—most anything. And after I fed we didn’t have to do hardly any cleaning she was such a pig about lapping up spilled blood. She’d even gobble at the dead girls’ throats and chew on their fingers.

Jesse didn’t kill her ’cause of what I said about Johona. He killed her ’cause he lost his sweetheart and couldn’t abide me having Abby still. Pure meanness is what it was. When he pulled me back after I went after her my heart hurt more than it did when Mama died but I knew he’d dust me if I fought him. The Little Devil told me so. That cocksucker’s looking for a reason to throw you out there too, he said, don’t give him one. So I did what Jesse wanted. I washed the sheets like he told me to yes sir yes sir. I took myself to bed keeping my sadness hid and whetting my anger like a blade.

What I got left: my cards my train book most my cars some of my dinosaurs a puzzle I can’t work a sack of fake gold nuggets my Mickey Mouse flashlight.

Mr. Sanders comes back from the swimming pool and quick as a dog can lick a plate clean Jesse tells him I pissed the bed. I fall asleep for a while and wake to find them going out to talk to Monsieur Beaumont. I pull the curtain aside and watch them climb into the camper.

Folks are setting off fireworks for the Fourth of July. Jesse always says he won’t get me none but always does for a surprise. He won’t let me light firecrackers but I can do sparklers and fountains if I’m careful to run away before they go to spitting. Some kids out there got sparklers and I’m thinking I might go over and say howdy and see can I have one but Jesse and Mr. Sanders come out of the truck and I get scared and close the curtains. They come inside and Jesse opens a can of pork and beans for me. Mr. Sanders asks do I want bread and gives me a slice. I don’t ask for butter. I want it but don’t ask.