When he’d raped me, it was easier to write all men off. The men at the club had only proved the point. They thought they were using me, but it was the other way around. Every slap, every insult, every pinch-of-pain thrust had only cemented the walls that had allowed me to move past the rape and live my life. Now Colin wanted to bring all that down.

I couldn’t go back to that dark place in my mind. I’d do anything not to go there again.

So it killed me when I responded, “Yes.”

Maybe it made me weak, but I couldn’t give him up.

“What?” The little crease in the middle of his forehead showed he was as surprised as me.

“There’s something I have to tell you first.” I took a deep breath. “I have a kid. A little girl.”

“Okay.” He drew the word out.

What was the norm in a situation like this? I hadn’t dated, hadn’t thought about it. “Okay good or okay bad?”

“Okay, I already knew that.”

“What? How?”

He shrugged. “Car seat.”

I supposed that made sense. And now that I thought about it, there was baby stuff pretty much all over my apartment. More baby furniture than adult furniture. Only my room was spared, because it was empty but for my bed.

“And you’re…cool with that?” I asked.

He scowled. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

I had my doubts. This whole night seemed like a dream. A strange nightmare-turned-fantasy dream. That guy had been the worst, but then I always expected the worst. What I hadn’t expected, what had never happened before, was being saved. Being protected, carried away by a freaking knight in a white truck.

Suddenly I needed a shower. What had been acceptable earlier tonight—that man’s hands on me—now felt entirely wrong. Their very imprint defiled me, and by extension Colin.

“I need to shower,” I blurted out.

Colin nodded like this pinball of a conversation was completely normal. “I’ll be in the kitchen.”

I wondered if he’d really be there when I got out. Maybe he’d think about my issues or just the fact that I came with a kid and bolt out the door the second the water started. The thoughts churned my stomach, but if he left, it would be for the best. Definitely for him.

The water shocked my system. This is really happening, it berated me, so stop fucking around. And I wanted this, wanted Colin, wanted so many things that I didn’t have a right to. But no matter how little I deserved it, I could never stop hoping.

I threw on my softest T-shirt and sweatpants and shuffled into the living room, afraid of what I would find. What I found was Colin with practically a party platter at the kitchen table.