“Don’t be a tease.” He squeezed hard. I gasped in pain but let him do it. Of course I did. This was what men did, and I was the girl who let them. The sick sense of triumph I felt every time I proved it was absent this time around.

“That’s better, baby.” He ravaged my body with his mouth and his hands. He was leaving marks on me, marks I knew from experience I would study later with revulsion and fascination.

Someone else kept intruding even as this guy assaulted me. It was Colin’s tongue in my mouth, Colin’s hand yanking my hair, Colin’s cock pushing painfully into my pubic bone. I closed my eyes. Maybe that was the solution. I could get the roughness I craved, but my imagination would make it safe.

Two fingers shoved inside me. Dry. My eyes snapped open. Not Colin.

He jammed them deeper, eliciting a whimpered, “No.” I hadn’t meant to say that. I told myself I wouldn’t say no, not again. It didn’t work, just made them angry. He was moving too fast and it hurt too much, but I could already feel myself start to slide into that place—the place where my mind slowed and none of the pain or the shame could touch me.

It didn’t matter, because he didn’t mind me. He’d do what he wanted. His lips twisted into a smile.

Abruptly he spun me around so that my exposed breasts were smashed against the door of his truck. His body shoved against mine stole my breath away, then more pain, in time with muted grunts from behind me.

Just as quickly there was nothing. No hard cock pushing against me or rough hands restraining me. Disoriented, I pushed off the truck, staggering back.

“…the fuck away from her,” I heard. And shit, I knew that voice.

Not Colin turned into an entreaty in my mind. I slowly dragged my gaze up. No, please, anyone but him. But of course there he was, looking like he was leading the charge into a fight instead of just witnessing me in all my shameful glory. Maybe other people dream of being naked in front of a crowded theater, but I already knew this moment would be memorialized in my nightmares: me, half-dressed in a dirty parking lot, in front of Colin.

My arms flew to my breasts, covering them in a futile attempt at modesty. My shoulders hunched as if I could curl in on myself. I envied those little pill bugs that could roll up into a ball. But my body didn’t come with any built-in armor. There was just my almost nakedness, exposed by men and my own stupidity.

Paralyzed with humiliation, I could only stand there.