'I'm moving away from the Washington area, "she said," I'll leave after the school year. I don't want you to know where I'm going. I don't want you looking for me. Please don't try to be a detective with me, Alex. Or a shrink."

I couldn't believe what I'd heard. I hadn't expected anything like this. I stood there speechless, just staring at Christine. I don't think I'd ever felt so devastated, so saddened and alone in my life. I felt hollowed-out and empty.

"What about the baby?" I finally said in a whisper that came out hoarse and strangled.

Tears suddenly welled in her beautiful eyes. Christine began to sob, and to shake. Uncontrollably."I can't take Alex with me. Not the way I am. Not like this. The baby has to stay with you and Nana for now."

I started to speak, but nothing came out, not a word. Christine held eye contact with me briefly. Her eyes were so sad, so hurt and confused. Then she turned away and walked back to her house. She disappeared inside.

Chapter Forty-Eight

I was angry and sad and I was holding it all inside. I knew better than to do that, which only made it worse. Physician, heal thyself.

I happened to see my psychiatrist, Adele Finaly, in church on Sunday morning. We were attending the nine o'clock sen dee with our families. We moved to the rear vestibule to talk. Adele must have seen something in my eyes. She doesn't miss much and knows me well since I've been seeing her for almost four years.

"Did Rosie the cat die or something?" she asked and smiled.

"Rosie's just fine, Adele. So am I. Thanks for your concern."

"Uh-huh. Then why do you look like Ali the morning after he fought Joe Frazier in Manila? Can you please explain that for me? Also, you didn't shave for church."

"That's a nice dress,"I told her," The color looks good on you."

Adele frowned and would have none of it. "Right. Gray is definitely not my color, Alex. What's wrong?"

"Not a thing."

Adele lit a votive candle. "I just love magic," she whispered and smiled mischievously. "I haven't seen you in a while, Alex. That's either very good or very bad."

I lit a votive candle myself. Then I said a prayer. "Dear Lord, continue to watch over Jannie. I also wish that Christine wasn't moving away from Washington. I know you must be testing me again."

Adele winced as if she'd been burned. She looked away from the flickering votive flame and into my eyes. "Oh, Alex, I'm so sorry. You don't need anymore tests."

"I'm all right," I told her. I didn't want to get into it now, not even with Adele.

"Oh, Alex, Alex." She shook her head back and forth. Tern know better than that. I know better."

"I'm fine, really."

Adele looked completely exasperated with me. "Fine, then. That will be one hundred for the visit. You can put it in the collection basket."