“Relax, oh paranoid one. I doubt there’ll be Talon agents hiding in the potted plants.”

“You never know,” I returned, feeling strangely light and flippant, not like myself at all. Being around Ember had that effect on me, I was discovering. “It could be a brilliant Talon plot. Instead of humans, dragons Shift into benches.”

She laughed. “Oh, great. Now I’m going to be paranoid every time I sit down. I hope you’re happy.” She turned and rested her elbows on the railing, gazing out over the city. I mimicked her pose, leaning against the rails, our arms almost touching. I was acutely aware of her body next to mine, radiating warmth, especially when Ember let out a sigh and leaned her head on my shoulder, making my pulse spike.

“Thanks for this,” she murmured, as I told myself to keep breathing. “I needed to get out, to do something, or I was going to go crazy. Staying in that room alone, there were just so many memories. I can’t be in my own head right now…” She paused, giving herself a slight shake, as if to drive those memories away. I didn’t move, afraid that if I did it would break the spell and she would pull back. Instead, Ember pressed closer, causing all my nerve endings to stand up, and we stared out at the city lights for several silent heartbeats.

“Does it ever get any easier?” she whispered at last.

She didn’t have to explain what she meant. “Yes,” I told her. “Unfortunately. You have nightmares for a few weeks, and you question yourself for a long time—did you do the right thing, was there anything you could have done differently—but after a while, if you keep at it, pulling the trigger gets easier and easier. Eventually, it becomes routine, something you do without thinking.” I glanced at her, hoping she didn’t think I was bragging. “It’s not something to be proud of,” I said softly. “And it’s not something you should strive for, not if you want to be anywhere near normal. I’ve been a soldier all my life. St. George taught me how to kill, but that’s all I can do. It’s the only thing I know how to do.” Ember didn’t answer, her gaze far away and dark. Maybe she despised me now, a soldier who took lives so easily, who killed without thinking. I wouldn’t blame her if she did. “You don’t want that, Ember,” I said, not adding what I really thought, my own selfish desires. I don’t want that for you. I kill when I must for survival, but I wish you didn’t have to be part of this war. If I could take you away from all of it, I would.