When I shivered, he mistook it for a lingering chill. His arms tightened around me, and he lowered his face to my hair, and I could feel his breath and the pound of his heart, and all I could think was this.

This, this, this.

This is what I want. This is more than I ever thought I could have with him, and I want to stay just like this for as long as I can, not breathe, not move a muscle in case the buzz of the wine passes and he pulls away.

I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of his breathing, and then I smelled wildflowers. Smelled wildflowers and felt the heat of the sun and arms around me, and I was thinking the same things. Don’t breathe, don’t move, or you’ll spook. He’ll realize what he’s doing and it’ll be over.

“You’re certain you’re all right?” It was Gwynn’s voice, young. “You scared the life out of me, Mati, seeing you tumble like that.”

No. I squeezed my eyes shut and pushed the vision aside.

I like you just fine, Gwynn. I like those little glimpses into what was, those touchstones with the past. But right now, I want Gabriel.

One last mental shove, and I smelled the lake and Gabriel.

There. That’s better.

I snuggled in, and he rubbed his thumb over my cheek.

“Still cold,” he said, and tugged the blanket higher.

“At least I didn’t fall in the water again,” I said. “Now that was cold.”

He went still, and I replayed my words, wondering if there was any other way to interpret them.

“The river, I mean,” I said. “When we fell in the river.”

I shivered for dramatic effect, but he stayed tense, his breathing slowed, his arms stiff around me.

Damn it. What did I do now?

“I…have a question,” he said.

Now I was the one tensing. “Okay.”

“If a thing occurred, and one party was not aware that it occurred, and the other party did not intend for it to occur, should the second party admit that it did? If the thing is a thing that may cause discomfort? The answer, I believe, should be no, that the second party should not admit to it. But if the second party worries that somehow the first party will find out, and in keeping the secret, the second party will seem complicit in the action, which will cause additional discomfort…”

I twisted to look up at him. “I have no idea what you’re saying, Gabriel.”

He nodded, a little curtly, and started to pull away.

Goddamn it, no. What was I supposed to say?

He stopped withdrawing and stayed still for a moment. Then he settled in, awkwardly now, as if he wasn’t quite sure how he’d done it before.