His eyes flew open. She could see only the glint of them in the dark, but they looked blind and wild. For a moment she was afraid that the boiling violence she sensed would break through and batter her.

‘‘You were having a dream.’’ She said it firmly, certain that that was what was needed to put Ethan back into those staring eyes. ‘‘It’s all right now. It was a dream.’’

He could hear his breath rasping. More than a dream, he knew. It had been the cold-sweated flashback he hadn’t had in years. But the result was the same. Nausea curled sickly in his stomach, his head pounded and swam with the pathetic echo of a young boy’s scream. He shuddered once, violently, under the gentle hands on his shoulders.

‘‘I’m okay.’’

But his voice was rough, and she knew he lied. ‘‘I’ll get you some water.’’

‘‘No, I’m okay.’’ Not even water would settle on his jumping stomach. ‘‘Go back to sleep.’’

‘‘Ethan, you’re shaking.’’

He would stop it. He could stop it. It would only take a little time and concentration. He saw that her eyes were huge, more than a little frightened. He was both sick and furious that he had brought even the memory of that horror to her bed.

Dear God, had he let himself believe, for even an instant, that it could be different for him? For them?

He forced himself to smile. ‘‘Just spooked me, that’s all. Sorry I woke you.’’

Reassured because she saw a shadow of the man she loved come back into his eyes, she stroked his hair. ‘‘It must have been awful. Scared both of us.’’

‘‘Must’ve been. Don’t remember.’’ The next lie, he thought, abominably weary. ‘‘Come on, lie back down. Everything’s all right now.’’

She snuggled up beside him, hoping to comfort, and laid a hand over his heart. It was still racing. ‘‘Just close your eyes,’’ she murmured as she would have to Aubrey. ‘‘Close your eyes and rest now. Hold on to me, Ethan. Dream of me.’’

Praying for peace, he did both.

WHEN SHE WOKE TO find him gone, Grace tried to tell herself that the weight of her disappointment was out of proportion. He hadn’t wanted to disturb her so early, so he hadn’t said good-bye.

Now that the sun was up, he would already be out on the water.

She rose, slipped on a robe, and padded in to make coffee and to grab those few minutes of alone time before Aubrey roused.

Then she sighed and stepped out on her little back porch. She knew her disappointment didn’t stem fromfinding him up and gone when she woke. She’d been sure, so sure he was going to ask her to marry him. All the signs had been there, the scene set, the moment perfect. But the words hadn’t come.