The more he pondered it, the more he realized that, deep down, he did not feel worthy at all. He never had. Since he was a child, his parents had made it clear to him that he was not worthy of his brothers and sisters, not worthy of their great family name. He had never felt worthy in his own eyes or anyone else’s. So this question that the Watchers had posed to him had struck him in more ways than one. Had they known that it would? Was the question different for each person who knocked?

Merk realized, as he pondered it, that the riddles were designed to make petitioners go away. They did not want anyone here who did not truly want to be here. They wanted people so desperate to be here that they were willing to not just give up everything, but to also grapple with their own demons, to face their own worst fears.

Merk leaned back and shrieked in frustration. He stood and slammed his palms against the silver doors until he could stand it no longer.

Why was he worthy?

Merk paced back and forth, determined to get to the bottom of this answer that had tortured him his whole life. He was not worthy because of his skills. That had been the wrong answer, he realized it now. Many other skilled contenders desired to be here, too. They were turned away, too, despite their skills.

His whole life Merk had taken pride in his skills. But the Watchers wanted something more. But if not skills, then what?

The more Merk dwelled on it, the more his mind went numb and began to, finally, go blank. As it did, he began to experience a new place in his mind, a place of calm, of a quiet unlike any he’d ever known. It was a strange place, a place where he no longer tried to rationally think of the answers. It was a place of a deep stillness, where he no longer grappled for answers, but waited to allow the answers to come to him.

As he stood there, breathing deep, slowly, an answer began to come to him. The less he tried to figure it out, the more clear it became, like a flower blossoming in his mind.

Perhaps he was worthy not because of his past but because of his present. Because of who he was right now.

And the person who he was right now could not be worthy. Not yet. After all, he had never been here, had never served here.

That was the answer: he was not worthy. They demanded someone with the awareness to know that he was unworthy. That awareness, after all, was the foundation one needed in order to learn, in order to become worthy.