Merchant was at the back of the room, leaning against the wall, hands in pockets, the best suit in the department, chatting to a young female clerk at a data terminal. He looked up, squinted for a moment, then broke into a mad grin.

‘Rita? Rita, is that you?’ he shouted across the room, as if everyone there would be pleased to hear his booming voice.

She stood, hands on hips, and watched as he bounded across to them, laughing as he slalomed between the desks.

‘Nah, yer knob ’ead, it’s another big Bangladeshi lass with a crew cut.’

‘Bloody hell! Good to see yer, mate!’

They did a handshake-cum-shoulder-bump. Joe watched, knowing that the nearest he’d ever come to that kind of home-boy familiarity was a pat on Andy’s back when they were both pissed and one of them was struggling into a cab.

‘You all right, then?’ she asked.

‘I’m bloody all right. You?’

‘I’m all right.’

‘Looks like we’re both bloody all right!’ Merchant said, tapping her forearm with three fingers. ‘Getting yer stripes, is what I heard!’

‘Passed first time. Sergeant’s exam and the Board.’

‘You’re dingin’ mi chuffin’ dong!’

‘Cheeky twat! Anyway, you still like it over here?’

‘I friggin’ love it. I heard you were sniffin’ around.’

‘You lot needed a bit of help’s what I heard.’

They both looked at Joe.

‘He’ll do anything for a collar! Druggy scum included. Me? I’m more of a one-sixty-six man!’

‘You still going on about that shit?’ she said.

‘Statistics, not shit.’

‘Shit-tistics.’

Merchant shook his head. ‘One down, one less to go. That’s my motto. One-sixty-six!’

‘They’ll put that on your grave.’

‘Good. I’ll stand by it. Or, you know, lie. Anyways…’

‘Anyway,’ Joe said, ‘have you seen the report about the pencil?’

Merchant grinned. ‘Yeah. It’s on the system. Weird, eh?’

‘I’m gonna flag it up as restricted information, just ’til we see where it takes us. Keep it out of the news. What d’you reckon?’

They both nodded.

‘OK, I’ll clear it with Andy and Comms.’

The three of them stood there for a moment.

‘Gotta go,’ Merchant said. ‘I’ve got some crimes that really need solving.’

‘Anything interesting?’ Rita asked.

‘Nah, boring old shit. But, y’know, the victims aren’t friggin’ drug dealers, so we can justify the police time.’ He turned to Joe. ‘Only pulling yer plonker. I’m all behind the investigation.’

‘Good. We need someone to go through a pile of CCTV footage.’

‘Sorted. I’m on it. It’ll have to be Monday, though. That all right?’

He wasn’t waiting for an answer. He winked at Rita, then strode across the office, shoulders rolling, a hand flattening down his silk tie, a kid in his Sunday best.

‘Laters, big boy!’ she called after him.