Definitely not charming was the quantity of goose shit. By the time he’d found a footbridge to cross, then made his way over the lawns towards Megan, his shoes were caked in the stuff.

‘Are all these wild fowl strictly necessary in a seat of learning?’

‘You’re joking,’ she said, getting up and kissing him lightly on both cheeks. ‘The geese are smarter than most of my students. How’re you doing, Joe?’

Megan’s accent was part American drawl, part English temptress. It was the kind of voice a well-aged fairy godmother might have after three continents, two divorces and a life-long penchant for late nights and single malts. Born on the plains of Alberta, Canada, she’d moved to Santa Barbara, to Mexico City, to Sydney, and finally to York, hopping from university to university, where she taught psychology and dabbled in criminal profiling as a hobby.

‘I’m doing…’ he said, as they sat down, ‘I’m doing, ehm, I don’t know whether you…’

‘Oh, I’ve seen the tweet. Nice-looking woman. I assume it’s got you in trouble?’

‘Follow your own road, and let the people talk!’

She raised her eyebrows, but left it at that.

‘You’ve got something for me, then?’

He handed her the files on Shaw and Beverage.

‘Just the murders, plus background on the victims. Is that OK?’

She held the files in one hand, weighing them.

‘Give me half an hour. There’s a coffee shop through that archway.’

He bummed a cigarette and left her to it, ignoring her suggestion of coffee and walking around the edge of the lake as he smoked. He wondered how much more stress it would take before he found himself with a packet of Marlboro permanently in his pocket. He puffed on the cigarette, not really enjoying the taste, but knowing that it gave him an excuse to put off the inevitable call to Rita.

He got his phone out, googled himself. He was already national news. The Sun:

BANGED TO RIGHTS!

The detective heading the hunt for the Graphite Assassin was snapped boozing the night away less than twenty-four hours after the killer claimed his second victim. West Yorkshire Police has so far made no comment on Sergeant Joe Romano’s unusual investigation techniques…

He didn’t bother with any of the other papers. Twitter was far more illuminating; #graphiteassassin was still trending, with inappropriate police behaviour adding new zest to the stream of opinions on offer. Gemma’s original post now had close to five hundred retweets, and many of them, strangely, were in support of him:

Good work, Det. Romano. Best way to deal with #graphiteassassin. Lay back an think of england!!!

DS bags MILF as #graphiteassassin gets away. streets a bit safer. go joe!

And then, amid the stream of predictable nonsense, something new:

#graphiteassassin going after the 1%? Raises a fair question, doesn’t it? #OneSixtySix