Chapters (33)
‘Taking such delight in murdering my sister.’ With what strength I had, I angled myself onto my elbow. ‘I mean it. You’re trying to erase her, trying to pretend she wasn’t what she was, and that’s as close to murder as makes no difference.’
He snapped shut the bag, then touched a finger to his lips, as if whispering a secret. ‘Truth is, I never liked her very much. Always full of herself. A bad influence, I thought. But then again, the feeling was mutual.’
‘This is revenge,’ I said, with a dark dawning clarity. ‘She always thought you were a creep, and I always liked you, with your stupid sweets and tunes, but she was right and I was wrong. And now you get to punish her by making her fade away.’
He grunted his vast bulk from the bed and gathered his bag. ‘No one’s asking you to forget her, my dear. But after a night’s sleep I guarantee this. You’ll wake with doubts. Tiny little doubts, to begin with, but they’ll be there all the same. And from tiny doubts great certainties can spring.’
Then he paused, bent down – ballooning out as he folded himself in two – and picked up a little shred of paper, part of the packing that had been in Paladin’s box.
‘It’s a terrible business all round,’ Father was saying, setting aside his newspaper. ‘It’s hurt us, there’s no doubt of that. But compared to some we’ve come off very lightly. There’s an old adage: nothing that happens in an economy is entirely bad for everyone.’ He shrugged. ‘We were due our share of luck, I suppose. I shan’t complain about Black Shatterday – especially not after we’ve been favoured with this happy turn. You really are feeling stronger, Fura? It’s such a joy that you’ve finally felt strong enough to join me for dinner.’
‘I really am feeling much better,’ I said. ‘And it’s all down to Doctor Morcenx.’
‘I’m glad to hear it. Your poor sister never much took to him.’
I rubbed at the skin around my bracelet. ‘All I know is that I’m in very good hands. It’s strange, you know.’
My father lifted a glass to his lips. ‘What is?’
‘Have you ever had that feeling where you’ve woken up from a dream, and you’re not quite sure that it didn’t happen? Or that you wonder if you might still be in the dream?’ I shook my head, putting on my best confused expression. ‘That’s how it’s starting to seem about all those things that happened in space. If you weren’t here to tell me they really happened, I might start doubting they ever did!’ Then I cocked my head. ‘They did happen, didn’t they?’