Gabe had wanted us to turn back, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I wasn’t supposed to know about Kim. Could Gabe’s appearance be mundane as a paternal need to protect me again, or was it something different? Maybe Kim wasn’t supposed to help us? Maybe she was working for the other side.

I had almost reached the elevator when Jared called my name. Soon, his hand was in mine. He stopped mid-step, causing me to jerk backward.

“We have to go,” I said, tugging him down the hall.

Jared stopped me again. “Would you please tell me what’s going on?”

“No,” I snapped, smacking the button to the elevator. “That would require me telling you the whole truth...and that's not really how our relationship works.”

The door opened, and I pulled Jared inside. We were alone, and for the first time I felt I could breathe. I leaned against the wall and sighed. “This isn’t happening.”

“What isn’t happening? Nina, talk to me,” Jared said, putting his hands on the wall at each side of my head.

“She’s my friend, Jared! She was on the other side, the side that kept me grounded…sometimes kept me sane, and now it’s gone! It’s all gone!”

Jared cupped my face. “She’s still your friend. You’re life at Brown is no different.”

“It’s not different? It’s disappeared!”

He frowned. “Let’s think of this as a positive thing. You have someone to talk to about this, now. Someone on the other side that understands.”

I crossed my arms. “I needed them, Jared...so I wouldn’t get lost in all of the heaven/hell fiasco.”

“She’s human, Nina. She may handle it differently, but she knows how you feel. She knows what it’s like to know things, and be different because of it. Embrace it.”

“Embrace it,” I grumbled. “You don’t understand.”

Jared took my hand and kissed my fingers. “This is a good thing. With her help, we can find the book.”

“Great!” I said as the doors opened to the main floor. “Let’s find the damn thing and get rid of it! Take it back to the church, I’ll stop having the dreams, Kim can be Kim again, and I can get my life back!”

Colonel Brand waited next to the car that would take us to the base. Jared and I remained silent during the trip, but once the plane took off from the runway, he began again.

“Nina, we can’t just take the book back. We have to read it; find out why Jack stole it from Kim’s uncle in the first place.”

“Because Jack was crazy, that’s why,” I snapped.

Jared sighed with frustration. “They’ve been telling us why. In your dreams.”