We tossed our empty cups into the trash before making our way to campus. The walk seemed longer than the years before. I remembered walking down the same street, wondering if I would run into Jared, hoping I could steal another moment with him. A smile touched my mouth as I looked behind us. The Escalade was parked across the street, half a block away.

So much had changed since I sat on the park bench. Life had gone from bad to worse, to wonderful to unbelievable, and now my days were as mundane as any other college sophomore. If only I could close my eyes without seeing my father, but that was asking for too much.

Beth would steal a peek at me now and then. Finally my curiosity outweighed my aversion to her lengthy explanations.

“Okay, Beth. Do I have something on my face?” I asked.

“A booger,” Kim said without expression, pointing to my nose.

“I have a booger on my nose?” I gasped, my hand flying up to cover it.

“No,” Kim said.

Beth smiled. “It doesn’t look like you’ve had much sleep, is all.”

My hand didn’t leave my face without wiping my nose a few times, and then I made a face at Kim. “I haven’t, I guess.”

“You guess?” Beth persisted.

“Bad dreams,” Kim said.

“How did you know?” I asked.

Kim shrugged. “Just a guess. What are they about?”

“Mostly Jack.”

Beth’s mouth slipped to the side, and then she frowned at Kim with disapproval. Kim didn’t flinch.

“What about your dad?” Kim said.

I scratched my head and watched for traffic—stalling, of course, uncomfortable with the direction the conversation had turned.

“Just the way he died. But it’s different.”

“Different how?” Kim prodded.

Beth stopped mid-step. “Geez, Kim! Knock it off already!”

“Sometimes talking about it can help, Nina,” Kim said, ignoring Beth.

“Not today,” I said, looking up the aged brick of the business building, “I’ll see you guys at lunch.”

Class was endless. My mind filled with thoughts of Sasha, Jared, and Claire waiting in the unforgiving desert sun to save Ryan from himself. As time wound down, I felt more and more angry. Guilt followed me everywhere I went, and the lack of sleep left me irritated. By the time class dismissed, I pushed through the door, paying no attention to the flabbergasted looks of the students I shoved past.

Kim stopped me in my tracks. “Whoa!”

A few breaths were necessary before I could speak. “Sorry…I was…I don’t know.”

“Class was that bad, huh?”

“I don’t remember,” I said, rubbing my temple where it had met with Kim’s bony shoulder.

Kim looked down the hall, and then back at me. “Okay. What’s going on with you? You’re not yourself.”

“I’m just tired,” I said, sliding by her to escape down the stairs.