What could have been a few seconds or a few hours passed. Finally, she asked, “... for?”

Having thought she was just ignoring him again, Aldric wasn’t ready for the question. “... for being an ass?” he replied, sounding more like he was asking than answering.

Zasia’s only reply was a very unladylike snort of derision. Aldric tried again, putting up a valiant effort not to roll his eyes. “Fine, for being more of an ass than usual?”

“Use your big boy words, Aldric,” Zasia said sardonically, still not looking at him. Aldric had to bite back his immediate comeback. Taking a deep breath, holding it, then letting it out, he tried again.

“I shouldn’t have said what I did. And I didn’t mean any of it, either.” Still not getting a reaction from her, he continued. “I know that you’re the only reason I’ve made it for this long. I’d be a mess without you. Well, more of a mess.”

“More likely, you’d be drunk or dead in a ditch somewhere,” Zasia replied coolly, though her tone was ever so slightly less biting than it had been so far.

“... probably,” Aldric admitted honestly, annoyed that he had to agree with her. “I just... I don’t know. I was always ready for everything to just go to hell in a handbasket at the slightest provocation. It was like I had an axe named Luck hovering just above my neck and was constantly expecting it to drop. And if I’m being totally honest, that feeling hasn’t really gone away, at least not completely. I’m terrified of getting caught off guard and failing again, so I just sort of... failed on my own terms. It kept up the illusion of control over my life, I guess.”

Aldric wasn’t really sure where all of this was suddenly coming from, but his mouth kept spouting words his brain hadn’t approved yet. He was about to just shut himself up when Zasia stopped what she was doing and looked at him fully for the first time. She had her practiced mask of nothingness in place, but she was really looking at him now.

Aldric decided to just let his mouth take the reins for now. “For what it’s worth, you were, once again, correct. I won’t say I’m totally up to snuff yet, but being here is... well, it’s a reason to wake up in the morning. Haven’t had one of those in a long time.”

He stared down at the desk in front of himself. “I know it wasn’t easy to deal with me. And I know you had to be ashamed of me. I’m the worst for not realizing it until now, but I never actually thanked you, did I? For not throwing me out on my ass like you probably should have. It’s overdue, but... thank you.”