Sydney had given herself this month to figure out what was next. Thanks to Seth’s practicality and knack for growing money, she’d received a substantial life insurance payout after his death that, coupled with their savings, gave her a nice cushion. Maybe she’d go back to school or travel or move to a new city where no one knew her. The entire world was open to her. It was just a matter of deciding what she wanted and where she wanted to be.

According to her counselor, making plans was a sign of recovery. Sydney wasn’t sure she wanted to hear that. How does a mother ever “recover” from losing her babies? After Max was born, someone had given her an embroidered pillow with the saying, “A child is your heart walking around outside your body.” If that wasn’t the truth! And then when Malena came along, Syd had given away what was left of her heart. Losing them wasn’t something she expected to ever “get over.”

But life had an irritating way of marching forward, of forcing the living to get on with it even when it would be so much easier not to. For a while, after the accident, she’d entertained the darkest thoughts of her life, had flirted with the notion of ending it all, of putting a stop to the relentless pain any way she could. Only knowing that she couldn’t—and wouldn’t—do such a thing to her grief-stricken parents had kept Sydney from going too far down that tempting path.

Turning over in bed, she took a moment to study the photo of Seth and the kids that she’d placed on the bedside table. Sometimes it was still so hard to believe they were really gone forever and not off somewhere together, due home any time now.

She shifted her gaze to the view of the pond in the distance. Not much had changed since the summer mornings of her youth: scores of boats at anchor, activity and bustle in Gansett’s vast Salt Pond. As she had during many of those long-ago mornings, she wondered if Luke was out on the water or working on the docks at McCarthy’s Gansett Marina the way he had since he was a boy.

Seeing him last night had brought back so many precious memories. It was no surprise to her that he was as stunningly handsome at thirty-six as he’d been at nineteen. Perpetually tanned skin, silky dark hair that fell over his forehead, soft brown eyes, lips made for kissing…

For so many years, he’d been at the center of her life, even though she’d seen him only during the summers. Her parents hadn’t approved of the passionate love between two teenagers, so she and Luke had been forced to do a lot of sneaking around to be together.