“Aww, Syd. Just because he died doesn’t mean he was perfect. Unless he was totally full of himself, which I doubt he was, he’d probably be the first to admit that. I’m not perfect. Are you?”

“Definitely not. I’m horrible.”

“You really have to stop saying that stuff. You’re starting to piss me off.”

Sydney realized she had to level with him, but it was so hard to put it into words again. The first time she’d blurted it out in the heat of the moment. This time she knew exactly what she was saying. “Do you remember when I told you I loved him, but differently than I loved you?”

“Yeah. What about it?”

“The way it was different—”

“You don’t have to tell me this. That’s your business, and it has nothing to do with who we are now.”

“It has a lot to do with who I am now.”

He waited for her to continue.

“I knew, even as I was marrying him, that I didn’t love him as much as I loved you,” she said. “There. See what I mean? I’m a horrible, horrible person to even think that, let alone say it out loud.”

“It must’ve been bothering you if you felt the need to say it at all.”

“What was bothering me is my parents refusing to accept how profoundly they influenced me in the past. I won’t allow that to happen again.”

“Syd, look at me.”

She glanced up to meet his intense gaze.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me or them or anyone. And you don’t have to justify your feelings, certainly not to me. Because I know you, I have no doubt you were a faithful, dedicated, devoted wife to him and a wonderful mother to your children. What else matters?”

“If I’d followed my heart way back when, I never would’ve given Seth the time of day because I still would’ve been with you.”

“But then you never would’ve had Max or Malena, and look at what you would’ve missed. You can’t have regrets, Syd. There’s just no point to that.”

“If I hadn’t been such a stupid fool, do you think we would’ve stayed together? Made it work?”

“I’d like to think so, but we were awfully young. We probably would’ve made a holy mess of it and proved your parents right. Maybe everything happened the way it did because we weren’t meant to get our shot until later in life.”

“You’re so rational and sane.”

“One of us has to be.”

That earned him a reluctant smile.

“You’re not a bad person, Syd. Being back with me again has stirred up some old crap that has you questioning decisions you made a long time ago. I understand that, but nothing good will come of second-guessing yourself now.”