“Private?” Nyx hauled her up again. She took Kage by the back of the neck and thrust her face down against Eshe’s charred body. “Private like death? Like my fucking kid’s death?”

“You don’t understand.”

“No, you don’t understand,” Nyx said. She pulled her scattergun.

Ahmed stepped forward, “Nyx—”

She swung the gun at him. “Can you fix him?”

Ahmed held up his hands. “He’s not a bel dame, Nyx.”

“Then shut the fuck up.”

“She wanted children,” Kage said. “I had to purge my debt. The debt for the lives I took. And the ones I’ve taken for you. There are just two ways to do that. Bearing children or saving a life. She asked for children.”

“What? You’re a woman, Kage. How the fuck did you give her children?”

Kage sucked in a long breath. “I am a woman, yes, but I can also give children. It’s… private.”

“Fucking what? Fucking Drucians.” Nyx shot off a round above Kage’s head. Kage flinched, at least. “I am so tired of your fucking secretive catshit. You’re barely fucking human.”

“We prefer to give life, not take it. Is that not human?”

“Fuck you,” Nyx said. “I need a minute.” She walked away a few paces. Isabet began to wail again. Nyx heard the Ras Tiegan run up behind her, to the body.

Nyx stumbled against one of the structures, far enough away that the smell of burnt flesh wasn’t as strong. Then she retched everything she’d eaten that morning, and dry heaved awhile longer after that, until tears came.

“You all right?”

Nyx raised her head. It was Khatijah. She must have run off in this direction, gotten clear of the women first thing.

“Yeah, cheery,” Nyx said.

Khatijah crouched next to her. She handed Nyx a water bulb. Nyx drank, not bothering to rinse the bile from her mouth. She valued the water too much.

“He was your kid?”

Nyx shook her head. “Took him on when he was eight. Street kid. Did a lot of work for me. Sent him off to Ras Tieg. It was safer. He bloody fucking hated me for it.”

“Shit happens.”

“I know that better than anybody.” She handed back the water.

Khatijah took it. “I’m a bel dame, Nyx. I may not have seen as much as you, but I had to give stuff up, too.”

Nyx wanted to shout at her, wanted to tell her nobody had given up more than she had. That was a lie, but it felt so true in that moment that keeping herself from screaming it at this young, stupid bel dame was physically painful.

“If Fatima is playing us with this, I’m going to fucking kill her,” Nyx said.

“Get in line,” Khatijah said. She stood and held out her hand to Nyx. “Ready?”

Nyx took Khatijah’s outstretched hand and stood. “Who was your first note?” Nyx asked.