“Ramona,” said Mr. Quimby, “your table manners grow worse and worse. Don’t eat so noisily. My grandmother used to say, ‘A smack at the table is worth a smack on the bottom.’”

Ramona, who did not think she would have liked her father’s grandmother, was embarrassed. She had been practicing to be on television, and she had forgotten her family could hear.

Ramona continued to practice until she began to feel as if a television camera was watching her wherever she went. She smiled a lot and skipped, feeling that she was cute and lovable. She felt as if she had fluffy blond curls, even though in real life her hair was brown and straight.

One morning, smiling prettily, she thought, and swinging her lunch box, Ramona skipped to school. Today someone might notice her because she was wearing her red tights. She was happy because this was a special day, the day of Ramona’s parent-teacher conference. Since Mrs. Quimby was at work, Mr. Quimby was going to meet with Mrs. Rogers, her second-grade teacher. Ramona was proud to have a father who would come to school.

Feeling dainty, curly-haired, and adorable, Ramona skipped into her classroom, and what did she see but Mrs. Rogers with wrinkles around her ankles. Ramona did not hesitate. She skipped right over to her teacher and, since there did not happen to be an elephant in Room 2, turned the words around and said, “Mrs. Rogers, your pantyhose are wrinkled like an elephant’s legs.”

Mrs. Rogers looked surprised, and the boys and girls who had already taken their seats giggled. All the teacher said was, “Thank you, Ramona, for telling me. And remember, we do not skip inside the school building.”

Ramona had an uneasy feeling she had displeased her teacher.

She was sure of it when Howie said, “Ramona, you sure weren’t very polite to Mrs. Rogers.” Howie, a serious thinker, was usually right.

Suddenly Ramona was no longer an adorable little fluffy-haired girl on television. She was plain old Ramona, a second grader whose own red tights bagged at the knee and wrinkled at the ankle. This wasn’t the way things turned out on television. On television grown-ups always smiled at everything children said.

During recess Ramona went to the girls’ bathroom and rolled her tights up at the waist to stretch them up at the knee and ankle. Mrs. Rogers must have done the same thing to her pantyhose, because after recess her ankles were smooth. Ramona felt better.